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DM of the Rings LXXI:
The Spice of Life

By Shamus
on Monday Mar 5, 2007
Filed under:
DM of the Rings


Goblins, Orcs, Ettins, Bugbears, Skelletons!

Comments (83)

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  1. Cynder says:

    Oh man, that look on Gimli’s face in the second-last frame is priceless…
    And Aragorn’s amusement at the peasants running for their lives! It’s almost like that’s EXACTLY what he was laughing at! It’s clever how you’ve used the different expressions with the characters, really clever. Couldn’t help but laugh at Aragorn…”Look at ’em go!” That’s something I would say!

  2. Doug says:

    /me wonders if Toil3t has got around to wishing he’d been let off with only hordes of undead yet.

  3. Mina says:

    LOL, Aragorn!!! XD

  4. Robin says:

    “At what point do you stop playing dnd, and where do the optional rules stop? If your giving out RP xp and allowing characters to take “╦ťanti-featsx' at what point should you just put all the rulebooks away and just ad-hoc the whole game?”

    As soon as you finish reading the D&D rule books, or course. It’s a system that leads to bad gaming, and had been since the 70s. (The first time I played we had the first three books only. Greyhawk hadn’t even come out yet.) And whenever anybody points out how bad the system is, somebody defends it with “That’s not how I play. I change the rule to …” Which is to say, the game they defend *isn’t* D&D.

    “Or find a system that better suits your playing style.”

    Exactly. One of the SCA members I’ve played with was starting a first level fighter. Upon meeting an ogre, we put down his pencil and said, “I quit. Why should I spend my free time pretending to be somebody who is right now quivering in his boots and wishing he were me.” (The guy was one of our best SCA fighters.) He then started playing Champions, where he could pretend to fly, lift buildings, and do other things nobody can really do.

    My favorite games these days are Champions, Flashing Blades, Toon, and maybe Pendragon.

  5. d'Antarel says:

    RE: Variety in the Monster Manual

    Sometimes…only sometimes…a DM throws in a creature that is something that is (in his experience) rarely used in a D&D campaign, and the encounter is either useless or misunderstood.
    For instance: useless. I had a campaign where the heroes (and the NPC who served to railroad the players only until a point when they could be on their own) were lost in a thick forest on an island (and no, this forest was not enchanted…eat that). Anyway, inside the forest was a city of Elves, who were not like the Elves of Lothlorien, that was hidden, so the players were lost in the forest, fighting dire rats and Formiyian warriors, until the came across a Dryad. I threw in the Dryad both as a unique encounter and as a possible way for them to find the way to the Elven city. The fighter (played by a guy who had the character concept of a Chaotic Neutral female fighter whose primary characteristic was: she was a nymphomaniac…with some sadistic tendencies. She would accept sex from anyone and anything…so long as they had a penis) elected to want to kill the Dryad simply out of jealousy that this Dryad was taking all the sexual attention away from her. The ranger of the group elected to speak with it, and the ranger managed to get a vision of the way to the Elven city, but with this information rushing through his brain, he failed his Will save to withstand it, then failed his Fortitude save to keep from passing out. When he woke up, he couldn’t remember the vision the Dryad had given him…so they were still lost.
    Second example: misunderstood. Same campaign, after I finally had an Elven outpost escort the heroes to the Elven city, they were given a quest hook, and they took it. This quest required them to leave the island, so as they took a rowboat across the channel, they encountered some merfolk. I was happy with the idea for this encounter because, I’m fairly certain, few DMs use watery terrain, thus making merfolk a rare occurance in D&D. Anyway. The merfolk were being playful, rocking the boat from underneath, causing the unlucky few of this four-person party to fall in the water. The nympho-fighter fell in and immediately went to kill one of the two merfolk who were originally pranking them. She killed one in no time flat. The other one swam away and alerted her clan members of this treachery. Instantly, the fighter was confronted by eight merfolk. Granted, I knew this was unfair seeing as how this fighter was alone and was only level two, but she didnt’ have to kill the merman, and the monster manual said that if threatened, the merfolk can be a formidable enemy. The battle was over in a few rounds and the female fighter was killed. The player was not bitter, but everyone else was kind of upset that his character would do something so heartless.

  6. key says:

    OMG! I’m LOVING this and telling o all my friends.

    But the “Look at them go!” for my was by far the very best of it all. I’ve alnmost died ROFL!!!

    Man, on the next few months I’ll sure remebember this and be an a-hole as frequently as I can.

  7. The Gremlin says:

    You should totally have had a panel where the DM says, ‘You want variety? How ’bout a tarasque?’, and then showing a big pic of a tarasque close-up like in the last DRAGON issue.

  8. ERROR says:

    “These orcs are on WARGS!”
    “So noted.”

  9. carltio says:

    At least it isn’t the Temple of Elemental Evil where it’s like someone took all of the monster manuals and turned them upside down and shook them all out into the module.

  10. Serenity Bane says:

    “Look at them go ha-ha!”

    -silence from Gimli- “How about skeletons? Everyone loves bashing up some skellies.”

    Lmao priceless.

  11. Trae says:

    According to the kill count on my character sheet, we’ve mostly fought orcs, but the problem with that is almost all of them were fought in one long battle. 44 of them at once to be exact. Other than them, we’ve mostly seen hobgoblins.

  12. joesolo says:

    “look at them go!”

    yea, nothing like angry orc calvlry to get the civis moving.

  13. Ryan says:

    Something about frame 4 just clicked and I completely lost it. The completely casual and unaware sociopathy that lives somewhere near the heart of most gamers is a beautiful sight to see rendered so sublimely.

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