Fuedal Battles

By Shamus Posted Monday Feb 28, 2011

Filed under: Pictures 104 comments

Hey, speaking of advertising follies, here is an ad I saw last week:

fuedal.jpg

Fuedal battles? Sounds pretty good! But who are these guys kidding? Everyone knows the best strategy game is Roam: Toetal War.

 


From The Archives:
 

104 thoughts on “Fuedal Battles

  1. NonEuclideanCat says:

    Ha! Someone was asleep at the keyboard that day.

  2. Nostromo says:

    I have great memories of Age of Umpires myself…

    1. Shamus says:

      Don’t forget the turn-based classic, Master of O’Brian.

      1. Grag says:

        Battle at Ataris?

      2. Dragomok says:

        I have only played MaStar’s (title is perhaps shamusless reference to that Neopetlitan song “O sole Mia” and Lucien Parrotti?) distant relative, Sons of Shoe: Lars N’Fire.

        1. Drejer says:

          I lost the references after the umpires.

          1. Aldowyn says:

            the second one was Master of Orion…

            1. Veloxyll says:

              As was the third

            2. Grag says:

              You mean Mister Onion?

        1. Miral says:

          Either her or Sisko, certainly.

    2. Jan de Wit says:

      I really liked Age of Methodology!

      1. Desgardes says:

        I know it’s shaming, but I did kind of like Hello Wares myself.

        1. Daemian Lucifer says:

          Is that similar to halo kiddy?

          1. Phill says:

            Now I feel compelled to go write a demo of “Halo Kitty Island Adventure” – the world’s first Hello Kitty first person shooter (possibly – I bet someone has been there already now I think about it).

            1. ZzzzSleep says:

              Well, perhaps you may wish to take a look at:
              http://www.kittyhell.com/2008/06/07/hello-kitty-doom-mod/

              :-)

    3. poiumty says:

      StatCraft is still the best imo.

      edit: oh man, ninja’d a few posts below. I should really read the [number] comments before writing my own.

    4. Jarenth says:

      I was always partial to Empire Bird.

    5. Sekundaari says:

      What about the turn-based Syphilization IV? I think that’s money well spent.

      Expansions too, though I can’t remember their names right now.

      1. Aldowyn says:

        There was a Civ reference on the ACT. No, I’m not kidding – it was a passage discussing the Pharos Lighthouse at Alexandria and it mentioned that there was a video game where you built empires, and if you built the lighthouse it gave you bonuses.

        And a whole passage devoted to the development of Spacwars!

        All in all, best passages ever!

        1. Sekundaari says:

          Um… so many possibilities. Do you mean the test thing?

          1. Aldowyn says:

            Yes, sorry. Apparently it’s an abbreviation of “American College Testing” – and that took more googling than I thought.

            Sorry for those of you who either aren’t in the States or simply don’t remember high school when these tests were super important.

            1. krellen says:

              I remember, but largely because I took the ACT and not the SAT.

      2. Halceon says:

        Do you mean Beorn the Sod, Whalers and Canalisation?

        Ah, but how can we go on without mentioning Hamster of Magic? And Hear “O”s of Mites and Matches? I’ve spent weeks on the two. Also on Pun-zerg Genera, although that was more me watching my dad play.

        1. Sekundaari says:

          Whalers, yes… but I think the second one was Beyond the Sore.

    6. SolkaTruesilver says:

      I never really got into the Fuedal era myself. I think the Total Was serie should never had gone away from their Shotgun : Total Was era.

      If I remember right, the game is set in Arkanzas, right?

    7. rayen says:

      let us not forget alps of century.

    8. Blake says:

      My all time favourite game is Internal Darkness: Sammidy’s Requiem.

    9. Veloxyll says:

      Comma and Conker is still pretty decent. even if I sometimes scream at the level designers.

    10. ehlijen says:

      Anyone remember Money Iceland?

    11. Irridium says:

      Have you tried “Galaxy of Fantasy” yet?

    12. Reach says:

      I’ve always been partial towards economy building games like Grand Aphids: Rome and Topical 3.

    13. James says:

      Cid Myer’s Aleph Centurian was always my favourite.

  3. X2-Eliah says:

    Hm. That’s exactly the sort of thing I’d expect Rustkarn to put up as a headliner pun. Well, no, he’d call it “Master the art Wart of arp” or something, so..

    Wait, what was I saying? Nevermind.

  4. Irridium says:

    So… its a game about massive battles featuring samurai?

    They do know about Shogun 2, right? Or is that an advert for Shogun 2? What the hell is it?!

    1. Kale says:

      Advert for Shogun 2, you can see it over at the Escapist in fact, though that particular frame lasts maybe 1 second of the whole thing.

      1. Zukhramm says:

        There are ads at the Escapist? The only advertisement I see there is for videos at The Escapist. And the publisher’s club.

        1. Irridium says:

          You probably have an adblocker or something on. I bought a pubclub thing a long time ago, so I don’t see ads.

          1. Zukhramm says:

            Unless someone entered my home without me knowing and installed one, I’m pretty sure I don’t. I see ads everywhere else on the internet.

  5. wtrmute says:

    If I had a nickel for every unfortunate spelling I’ve seen in Internet ads, I’d be a very rich man…

  6. Daemian Lucifer says:

    Bah,another meideval game.Thank you,but Ill stick with my satrcarft.

    1. Thadius Girth says:

      I prefer Don of Wore myself

      1. Bubble181 says:

        I’d be more likely to play Don of Whores than Dawn of War, to be fair. :-P

  7. Robyrt says:

    I recently bought a copy of the Marvel vs. Capcom 3 strategy guide, which in big yellow letters on the back announces it contains “TOURNAMNET STRATEGIES.” Now that really inspires confidence.

    Ironically, the guide itself is exhaustively researched and error-corrected.

    1. Ringwraith says:

      They were probably so focused on getting the contents right they forgot to check the cover.

      1. BenD says:

        The cover was probably proofread by different staff – or not at all. With ‘genre’ nonfiction like gaming books, the front cover is often in development before the text is done, but the back cover gets slapped together at the last minute. That way they have every possible second to milk every Tom, Dick and Harry the publisher vaguely knows for blurbs, get their ISBN and barcode (inevitably done late), and so on. ;)

    2. krellen says:

      If you’ve ever logged into TournamNet, you’d know that you really need strategies.

  8. Van Tuber says:

    Wait, feudal battles? This is supposed to be for Rome right?

    1. Robyrt says:

      The ad is for Shogun 2: Total War, which fits the “feudal” descriptor pretty well.

  9. Jennifer Snow says:

    Ha, Shamus, I saw that too. Well done.

  10. Grag says:

    Tying two get people too spell things correctly is feudal.

    I mean, it’s knot like eh spell checker wood have discovered it.

  11. Simon says:

    There are things far worse than misspellings in the sordid world of free online games.

    Evony is a medieval city-building game, and to my knowledge there’s no sexual content whatsoever in the game. That didn’t matter to the marketers though, and in the hunt for clicks the ad eventually devolved from the medieval stuff you might expect, to literally a pair of boobs.

    1. krellen says:

      I played Evony when it was still advertising with the yelling soldier, before it became T&A. I am now ashamed of this fact.

      At least I never gave them any money.

    2. Zukhramm says:

      My first thought was “I’ve only seen the first four of those”. Then I realized they’ve managed to make the logo so small and the ads so disconnected from the game that I just never figured they were for the same thing! Wow!

    3. ZzzzSleep says:

      Warning the link that follows is NSFW!

      http://logansrogue.livejournal.com/1239132.html

    4. Moridin says:

      If you search the site, you’ll see that Shamus has talked about evony ads before.

    5. Pickly says:

      The funniest of these sorts of ads for me was one that promised “Oriental, exotic, gameplay.” It may be meaningless as a description of gameplay, but I sure know who they’re marketing to.

  12. Knight of Fools says:

    I had to read the entire post twice to understand what you were talking about, Shamus. It’s a good thing other people out there are observant, ’cause I’m certainly not…

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      To be fiar,poeple can raed wodrs even if teh letrtes are julmbed.

      1. Sekundaari says:

        EEgiinnrstt. Ahtw abotu fi I arstt giinrtw in aaabcehillpt deorr?

        1. psivamp says:

          As lnog as you leave the fsrit and lsat lteters, it’s not mcuh of a porbelm.

          1. Sekundaari says:

            I wr if I’m dg it wg..

            Acellry, ghhotu, eht first adn alst eelrstt deen not be in ehirt cceorrt acelps, or hist dlouw be abcdeeehiilnpr.

          2. Mari says:

            Wow! But deos it wrok for wrods lkie ompetooaieona?

            See, as much fun as that e-mail is, it’s not entirely true. Notice that almost every word involved is five or fewer letters long with the first and last being in the proper order. The brain is only having to “descramble” up to three letters which isn’t exactly genius level work. The few words that are longer have context working for them as well as the fact that most of the “scramble” is a simple letter transposition. With words like “onomatopoeia” above there’s no context and I scrambled the middle letters a fair bit and suddenly it’s not so easy anymore.

            Although why I bothered with that, I’ll never know. I think the Language Nazis have Borged me. Resistance is fuedal.

            1. Sydney says:

              I, for one, got “ompetooaieona” as quickly as I got anything else in that sentence. I suppose it’s a matter of how familiar you are with the original word.

            2. krellen says:

              This whole thread has been pretty easy for me, but I am, actually, a genius, so I’m probably not a good measure.

              1. Sekundaari says:

                I guess you got “abcdeeehiilnpr” then? I thought about finding a much worse one, but that one was sort of self-referential and had a fun start.

                1. krellen says:

                  Context really helps. Out of context, I saw that and went “what?” In context, it was really easy to turn that into “indecipherable”.

                2. Sekundaari says:

                  Yeah, context probably is key here. Without it, I think you’d be able to create a long word no one would solve without an anagram creator, or without way too much time.

                  Though some long ones are maybe easier again, like…

                  aaaabdeehiiiiilmmnnnrssssttt

                  aaccccffhiiiiiiiiilllnnnooput

                3. David says:

                  I got “antidisestablishmentarianism” with very little difficulty, but the other one escapes me…

                4. krellen says:

                  It took me less than a second to get “antidisestablishmentarianism”.

                  I’ll have to work at the second one.

                5. David says:

                  Yep. It’s “floccinaucinihilipilification.”

                6. krellen says:

                  That word’s not in my vocabulary. No wonder I didn’t get it.

              2. Sekundaari says:

                Correct.

                It’s fun how the second one looks shorter with all the i:s and l:s, but it’s actually one character longer.

                EDIT: Wrong reply link… oh well.

                1. Aldowyn says:

                  I should have thought of antidisestablishmentarianism… That’s entirely different though, taking almost a minute to read one word isn’t what that email is talking about.

                  I have a friend with a shirt that’s basically got that on it. I wonder if he’s going to see this?

      2. Kai says:

        Taht is ture. Hwoveer, the frist and the lsat ltteer hvae to be in the ccrroet pclae to mkae it wrok wlel.

        1. Kai says:

          Njian’d!

  13. 4th dimension says:

    Hah, weaklings! :D
    True strategy masjers play games made by Paradoxy Intertraiment, like:
    Crusader Kegs
    Epocha Universalis
    Vicky: Impure under sun
    and
    Hearts of Irony

    1. SolkaTruesilver says:

      Alright. I have to say, I nearly bursted laughing out loud @ Vicky : Impure under the Sun.

      Talk about Rule 34… :’-(

  14. I remember for years I was hooked on Word of Warcat. Game is so bloody addictive!

    1. David says:

      I preferred Warcat 3: Rain of chaos. I never did get around to playing frozen thrown, though.

      1. Aldowyn says:

        funny thing is rain of chaos works almost as well of the actual title.

        Warcat sounds awesome, though.

        1. krellen says:

          Warcat is a buffed-up version of He-Man’s ride.

          1. Michael says:

            He-Man? Really?

            I would’ve made a Thundercats reference there.

            1. Irridium says:

              “Eye of Thundara, give me sight beyond sight.”

    2. Pickly says:

      You should definitely try Guilt Wars instead. I recommend starting with either the heresy’s chapter or the Knight’s fall chapter, than going to Fractions and I am the North.

      the company that makes the game, Aren’t, is also coming out with Guilt Wars 2, which uses some of the original guild wars classes long normalancers and wranglers, but with new sorts of mechanics, as well as some new classes like giordanians and a sneaky class, something like a rouge type. Though it has its potential problems, I still recommend checking it out.

      1. Pickly says:

        And in the midst of the deliberate typos, I made one (and possibly more) accidental ones: “classes long normalmancers” is supposed to say ‘classes like normalmancers”.

        1. Sumanai says:

          Also you correctly spelled “guild wars” once.

  15. Kavonde says:

    I wonder if this is the same company that made God of Wat. It was about this albino dude with red tatoos who texted all the time and forgot how to properly spell words or use punctuation.

    It largely took place in an old Cambodian temple.

    1. Milos says:

      Man, all these years I was reading that Gud or Wat. Now I feel silly.

  16. Nasikabatrachus says:

    Resistance is Fuedal!

  17. Daemian Lucifer says:

    Funny how no one mentioned foolout and x cam yet.

    And no fans of night and lethargic series?

    1. Halceon says:

      Ahahaha, X-cam. Good times, good times. Though I preferred the second one – Tenor from the Beep, it really provides a challenge for you. X-Cam 3: A Pack of Lips, while nicely innovative with the time based combat, fell flat. And let’s not talk about Inner Sector or Endorser. Those things don’t deserve the X-Cam name.

      1. Daemian Lucifer says:

        Some of the sequels(remakes?)were decent though.I enjoyed afterblight,for example.

  18. anaphysik says:

    Now now, that’s a perfectly valid way of spelling fà¼dal.

  19. Jan says:

    I’m always partial to Calvin’s (of Calvin and Hobbes):
    “In the middle ages, lords and vassals lived in a futile system”
    “That’s “feudal” system.”
    “Just when I thought this junk was beginning to make sense.”

  20. Vegedus says:

    The comment section on this one is the best part.

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      You mean the cooment setcion.

      1. Halceon says:

        No, it’s the Kamen seg shun.

  21. Wolfwood says:

    anyone fond of Sins of a Sailor Umpire?

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      I is.Though I prefer cathartic gerbilization myself.

  22. Mistwraithe says:

    You guys are so harsh. Look at the positive side! They got 11 out of 12 words RIGHT. That is over 90%!

Thanks for joining the discussion. Be nice, don't post angry, and enjoy yourself. This is supposed to be fun. Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked*

You can enclose spoilers in <strike> tags like so:
<strike>Darth Vader is Luke's father!</strike>

You can make things italics like this:
Can you imagine having Darth Vader as your <i>father</i>?

You can make things bold like this:
I'm <b>very</b> glad Darth Vader isn't my father.

You can make links like this:
I'm reading about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darth_Vader">Darth Vader</a> on Wikipedia!

You can quote someone like this:
Darth Vader said <blockquote>Luke, I am your father.</blockquote>

Leave a Reply to Desgardes Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.