Volcano Bakemeat

By Shamus Posted Monday Mar 21, 2011

Filed under: Movies 42 comments

Then for your enjoyment, I Japanese re-translated into English, and this post. In fact, that ‘the real s – I use it for my fun, you did not translate.

This afternoon I was in my wife crazy contraband coming into the room to find the pokemon to see the next video game. The translated text is a surprisingly cheerful as incomprehensible amazing. I was laughing so hard I could hear the sound of the video on my wife telling me to stop laughing so hard at last.


Link (YouTube)

While I translate this text twice, as well, it ‘Be careful; listed Pokemon game yet more comprehensible s.

Hat tip: The principle of flight.

For your enjoyment, I translated this post into Japanese, and then back to English. Actually, that’s not true – I translated it for my enjoyment, not yours.

This afternoon I came into the room to find my wife watching the following video of a demented bootleg pokemon game. The translated text is as surprisingly hilarious as it is frighteningly incomprehensible. I was laughing so hard I could barely hear the video over the sound of my wife telling me to stop laughing so hard.

(embedded video)

Note that while I translated this text TWICE, it’s still more understandable than the Pokemon game shown.

Hat tip: The Escapist.

 


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42 thoughts on “Volcano Bakemeat

  1. BeamSplashX says:

    Does anyone else think volcano bakemeat sounds succulent? It makes me want to eat an entire live animal the more I think about it.

    1. TheAngryMongoose says:

      Oh god no. Sounds like somekind of Meat Style Meat Flavour Meat Product.

    2. RSkin says:

      Someone actually had a Volcano Bakemeat party a while back. This version of Crystal was, to my knowledge, first brought to the attention of the public by the folks at Extralives, who do gaming marathons for charity. The people who held this party were watchers of this show. (They’re pretty fun to watch too. :) )

    3. ClearWater says:

      To me it sounds like something LoadingReadyRun would do on an episode of Man Cooking.

    4. Ringwraith says:

      It’s actually meant to be Cinnabar Volcano Burgers, so they are at least half right with an exact word and the meaning is sort of the same…

  2. Irridium says:

    So… whats that big read rectangle at the bottom of the post?

    1. Shamus says:

      Click and drag over it.

      1. Irridium says:

        Oooooooooooh!

        How the hell did it go from “The Escapist” to “The principle of flight”?

        1. Zukhramm says:

          By flight as in fleeing, escapism could maybe be described as “the principle of flight”.

      2. Nyaz says:

        Oooh, I was sure it was a video or something that refused to load, so I reloaded the page twice before reading the comments. Well done, me. *Slaps himself*

    2. Steves says:

      It’s the spoiler text!

      And thank God for it, I got as far as “…This afternoon I was in my wife crazy contraband coming…” and thought Shamus had OD-ed on something dangerous;)

      The fact I immediately thought ‘volcano bakemeat’ sounded like an oven though…probably means I clearly have a promising career in translation!

  3. Duder says:

    Translation is pretty hard when you are doing a character by character replace of text. Even more so when your translating from a language that tends to have half as many characters per word.

  4. Halfling says:

    I clearly, Google is using the translation, the gold farmers are now not understand why I understand.

    Original Version: I think I understand why gold farmers are so incomprehensible now, clearly they are using Google translate.

  5. Steves says:

    I wonder if there are any original English games or movies that have been translated on the cheap into an Asian language, and they end up being utterly hilarious to the native speakers? Does it work both ways?

    Any Japanese/Vietnamese/Thai/etc. people know?

    And of course:

    “I wonder if there is a cheap movie that has been translated into Asian languages “‹”‹and English of the original game, and they can become quite cheerful native speaker? Can I use it both ways?”

    Not bad really – Google is pretty awesome sometimes. I also love the ‘swap languages’ button, that seems like a new addition, they clearly know what people are using their service for.

    1. Kdansky says:

      Not for Japanese. Since it is pretty much impossible to automatically Japanese, nobody in their right mind would buy such a product. Though they frequently have t-shirts with inane English on them, or just incomprehensible signs. See engrish.com for hilarity.

  6. Dan says:

    Thank you thank you thank you. After 8 hours of COBOL training, (yes, my company wants me [a JAVA developer] to learn COBOL…*sigh*) I needed a laugh.

    4 Please tell us more? I was still training the rest of the week (Please give us 4 more? I still have training the rest of the week).

    1. Deoxy says:

      COBOL is PAINFULLY easy. It’s entire design philosophy was “Make this easy for non-programmers.”

      Well, OK, modifying COBOL is painfully easy. Cloning a program and making a new is very easy. Writing one from scratch would be… painful. But then, I don’t know anyone who has done that in my lifetime.

      1. Dan says:

        It’s not so much that it’s not easy as much as it is very inefficient. COBOL was developed back when we cared about space. Now, if we run out of space, we give our admins $20 and tell them to go get us a couple more Gigs.

        There are also very few good IDEs out there and it can be very painful to debug.

  7. Michael says:

    This reminds me of the English-to-Chinese-to-English translation of Star Wars Episode III I saw.

    http://winterson.com/2005/06/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west.html

    1. Aldowyn says:

      That was mentioned on the Escapist post with this.

      P.S. Dang, I had to re-enter my name and email. Just had my PC upgraded… EVERYTHING is reset. I had to reinstall Flash >.>

    2. Halfling says:

      I have never seen that before. Now both my wife and I’s sides hurt from 30 minutes of straight laughing and the cat is horrified.

  8. Vegedus says:

    From the people behind the “Do not want” edition of Star Wars, I’m sure.

    I don’t quite get why they would translate it into english, though. They pirate it in Vietnam and sell it in America?

    Also, just as a FYI, Star War: Backstroke of the West is still hilarious. Fourth time I read it and it still makes my sides hurt.

  9. Raygereio says:

    This is like reading every manual, not in the orignal language, ever translated by a broken babblefish.
    My favorite manual was from a GC intergrator. After some tracking I discovered that the damned thing was originally written in German, translated to English, then translated to French, then translated to Japanese and then back to English again. The only way it could be worse is if someone found a way to stuff Russian somewhere in there.

    It contained such wonders as:
    “To produce copy from first language mouth, impress the primary drawing button.”
    And:
    “Stop newspaper flowing is not needed, if needed flow is directed robotically through advanced input finders.”
    And let’s not forget:
    “If missing the cable is outputted, view from the behind the cables attached from child to father”

    Make sense of those sentences. I dare you.

  10. Zukhramm says:

    My brother is one of the pirated versions of Pokemon games pirate thing, indeed it had a bad translation, as one messed up video I do not think that we maybe just me Since we are so young, did not get how bad it is.

    The video is interesting, some parts of the nonsense coming from some where “fuck” What? ! Seriously, just try, but now there is no way that something.

    1. Amstrad says:

      I sincerely hope this post is the result of multiple passes through Google translate and not the author’s original words.

      1. Halceon says:

        You Pokemongemu Uni-piracy, copyright infringement, one of the reasons given in the chaos, in order to run the video, you are given below in order to determine that it is very young to check whether it is appropriate to the age owns is not the reason is because he is my brother to check whether you can. “Sex” nonsense, please enjoy one of the video stream. Well, seriously, I can try several ways.

  11. Specktre says:

    Wow… this is something else.

  12. ccesarano says:

    I’m going to have to watch this a couple more times in order to glean the memes from it.

  13. ClearWater says:

    I work in tech support and used to get Google-translated cases from one of our Taiwanese customers. It was quite a challenge helping them.

  14. Erik says:

    I read this post still groggy from just waking up, and it wasnt till the second time i read it, that i noticed something was wrong..

    Thats perfectly normal.. right?

  15. Sho says:

    Mark Twain came up with this idea over 100 years ago (or maybe someone did it before him!). (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Celebrated_Jumping_Frog_of_Calaveras_County#Translations).

    It’s even better now ‘cos google does all the humour work for us.

  16. Ramsus says:

    That was hilarious. At Bag F*ck I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breath.

  17. uberfail says:

    Funnilly enough I was just playing with google translate the other day. I translated the first paragraph oh “why not just play on a console” through a couple dozen languages. Ended up with:
    “I have a wireless computer 360 Practical fishing, I’m new delivery of the new OS is horrible. Meiteamorfóis Stupid driver’s door, which is often used as a substitute for the loss does not always work. Recognized. To cater to these people spoil the game, but our sympathies. Why Braga today.”

  18. Neil Polenske says:

    For much this is great joy until suffocation. Elevated laughing is impressive when pain alliance with the torso.

  19. Halceon says:

    Let me just direct you towards http://translationparty.com/

    Only the best piece of technology for your retranslation needs.

    Or as TP would put it: To work best, you just need to reconvert technology.

  20. Ringwraith says:

    The best translator will forever be the Bad Translator, if you ever wanted to see how mangled 56 translations makes stuff.

    “Enjoy the article and return to England to Japan. It is not right – no luck in my opinion.

    Date entered the room, women play a very interesting dream king furnace. My wife and Smiled in a movie or listening to laughter.

    (File)

    I remember the kings of the game.

    Caps – Tips: You can try to prevent.”

    1. Richard says:

      I think you mean “Each time, the translation error five, six big.”

      1. Ringwraith says:

        Oh, and some of them are true.

        Well, I wanted some of it to be intelligible.

    2. orangeban says:

      This is undoubtedly the best thing I’ve ever seen. I put in:

      Good morning mister McNicol. How are you? Am I fine thanks. Brilliant. Uhuh, thanks.
      That was a phone conversation that took place at nine fifty two AM

      translate it 52 times and end up with

      School safety Teressa Kaye Future II, and wheat in May mmm, mmm, thanks 14:00 Un goes.

      Incredible, complete genius. But what happens if I then put that phrase back in 52 times?

      Kokura school eyeyey teresamei 14:00 seconds.

  21. Vipermagi says:

    And it’s even an entire series! Awesome.

  22. orangeban says:

    In case anyone wanted to know what happens if you translate it back and forth twice more you end up with this abomination:

    o enjoy, I This article has been translated into English, was a reunion in Japan. In fact, it is true – I have been using it for my enjoyment did not translate for you.

    This afternoon I was his wife, had been smuggled into the room crazy to come looking to find the next video game Pokemon. The translated text, is a remarkable understanding of surprising vigor. I have my wife, I said I could not stop laughing laughed hard the last hard you can hear the sound of the video.

    Links (list)

    I also twice, but it must be careful to translate this text. S is still easily publish to understand Pokemongemu

    Hat tip: The principle of flight.

  23. Jekyll says:

    Hmmm, looks like squirrelking became an official translator for pirate-nintendo

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