Chocolate Mumbles vs. Digital Rutskarn

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Jun 1, 2011

Filed under: Links 116 comments

It’s like one of those heartwarming Disney movies where parent and kid swap bodies and engage in hijinks that help them understand each other in a new way, leading reconciliation and a greater appreciation for each other. And love.

Only, in this case the father and son are Vader and Luke, and swapping places has only escalated a feud that will end in hilarious murder and madcap corpse abuse. To wit, he is on her site and she is on his site and I’m just going to hang out here and wait for this whole thing to blow over.

Technically, Josh and I also traded blogs today. I mean, he posted Spoiler Warning, and then I didn’t do a damn thing because he doesn’t have a blog. Or a website. Or Twitter. Or Facebook. Or a picture of himself. It was like “Trading Places” with the invisible man.

 


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116 thoughts on “Chocolate Mumbles vs. Digital Rutskarn

  1. Rutskarn says:

    Mumbles wins. Throwin’ that out there.

    NEXT TIME GADGET

    1. krellen says:

      If I’ve learned anything from JaR, it’s that trolling Rutskarn is always hilarious.

    2. xXDarkWolfXx says:

      That last part makes me think that part of your expenses to destroy Mumbles involved buying a metallic claw arm and chopping off one of your own so you could correctly use that line.

  2. Deadfast says:

    Broken link spotted! “his site” probably has some brackets missing.

    With that in mind it’s Ruskarn who’s in the lead again. Conspiracy?

  3. Max says:

    I suppose that could be an interesting movie as well. Trading places with some guy who never does anything, just spend the whole movie chilling, and get a better appreciation of what it’s like to do nothing. There’s definitely money in this idea.

    1. krellen says:

      So, like John McClane changing places with Jeff Lebowski?

  4. xXDarkWolfXx says:

    In joshes defense i could also be considered an Insisible man as i currently dont have any photos of myself available.

  5. Slip says:

    Dammit Josh, I’m aiming to be the last person on the planet that doesn’t have Facebook – get Facebook!

    In other news, I feel like it would be more terrifying if they got a joint blog. Vader and Luke versus the world; yikes.

    1. cadrys says:

      “Join me, and together we shall RULE THE GALAXY as Father and Son.” The blog would only be the start.

    2. xXDarkWolfXx says:

      I could see it now. Luke posts asking people to join them and Vader posts saying that he killed all the people who offered to join them. A fight ensues and out of it all a HILARIOUS sitcom is created staring John Travolta as Luke and Michael Clarke Duncan as Vader. Vader doesnt get a suit though.

      1. Irridium says:

        Fun fact, George Lucas is making a Star Wars sitcom.

        No, I am not joking

        Its also being written by the Robot Chicken team.

        Make of that whatever you wish.

        1. Shamus says:

          So… he’s decided to pay the Robot Chicken people ridicule him? Weren’t they already doing that for free?

          1. mike says:

            Yes they were doing it for free, but presumably he wasn’t seeing a red cent from it either. Because “parody”.
            Now they can have their cake, while Lucas eats it.

          2. xXDarkWolfXx says:

            Personally if someone came along and offered me to make money to ridicule them id accept it in a heartbeat.
            Also if anyone wants me to openly ridicule you just send some money to my paypal and drop your name at my blog and ill make a post ridiculing you.

            1. Max says:

              I think you’ll need to do a small sample of ridiculing before anyone is going to pay you.

              1. xXDarkWolfXx says:

                Well if someone will willingly give me there name and some facts about them i will gladly give one free ridiculing as an example of how it would be for others. And i mean embarassing facts not “I won first place at my track meet in high school”

        2. xXDarkWolfXx says:

          I think we should do Dreamcast for this Star Wars sitcom.

    3. Daemian Lucifer says:

      Sorry,but youll have to outlive me in order to achieve that.And youll never outlive me!

  6. Rayen says:

    you realize rutskarn calls you shamu in his DM post. I may be wrong but i think he’s making fun of you by simultaneously comparing you to a famous water mammal and intentionally cutting off your name… that or I’m reading to far into things and subconsciously trying to sow seeds of doubt and bitterness for reasons i don’t quite understand.

    basically I’m Loki now.

    1. kanodin says:

      No I saw that nicely layered insult as well.

  7. Littlefinger says:

    If Shamus is to trade places with Josh he should be the one playing New Vegas, scrolling through all the inventory, selling the incinerator, listen to every conversation, not skip a single sentence, selling the incinerator, putting all points into repair and speech, selling the incinerator, and FINALLY put up some Black Mountain Radio. Then Josh can bitch about the play style and lament the loss of the Incinerator. It’d probably end getting mauled by a cohort of deathclaws but it’d be worth it.

    1. nawyria says:

      Shamus, please do this. For us? Please?

      1. Peter H. Coffin says:

        That could be kind of interesting. Round-robin players, rotating every week. Need a game where it’s easy/possible to schlep the save file from machine to machine though….

        1. Josh says:

          You’ll never take my incinerator alive!

          1. krellen says:

            It’s already dead, Josh.

            1. ehlijen says:

              It will live on, in the hearts and minds of us all!

            2. Daemian Lucifer says:

              Its not dead,it still pulsates with the fire of life!

              1. Jordan says:

                Which ironically kills all it touches.

            3. Irridium says:

              Its dead Jim.

            4. xXDarkWolfXx says:

              I think its more like Shroedingers Incinerator, it exists in a state of both sold and unsold at the same time.

        2. Aldowyn says:

          Heh. What was that DF Let’s Play… ah, yes. Boatmurdered.

          Heh.

    2. Irridium says:

      Also, put points in guns and energy weapons if he’s going to use them.

      1. Tizzy says:

        And keep his health up near maximum at all times.

  8. rrgg says:

    Josh is the only one of you ready for when the computers take over.

  9. Jibar says:

    Aw, it’s their first internet date.
    True love in the making.

    1. Dromer says:

      Too bad they don’t play MMOs, then they could get virtual married and make winky-faces in guild chat.

    2. Phase says:

      I am Phase and I approve of this message.

      1. Ramsus says:

        This is my favorite post in the Citadel.

        1. xXDarkWolfXx says:

          Im Dick Cheney, welcome to Wal-Mart and go f**k yourself.

    3. Drexer says:

      Heck, Rutskarn even throws a veiled mention of unresolved sexual tension in his post. It’s not as if they’re not giving the slashers in theirs(ours?) little fan group a lot of material.

      1. Phase says:

        Slashers are for same-sex pairings only, I think. Everyone here except Jibar and I are shippers, because only Jibr and I know the truth.

        1. Mumbles says:

          Everyone knows about you three. No need to be coy.

    4. Halfling says:

      But now Jibar will forever be on the outside with his unrequited love.

      And serves him right for those disturbing mind images that he gave me from that LP. The human mind can’t permanently forget anything it sees. AHHHHHHHHH.

  10. X2-Eliah says:

    “He is on her site and she is on his site” – That has got to be a premise for some crappy summer ‘romance comedy’ or something..

    In all fairness, though, neither of them stuffed the other’s blog full of pink hearts and bunnies, so there is still a sliver of hope left for sanity.

    1. GM says:

      please don´t give them ideas.

    2. xXDarkWolfXx says:

      No the pink bunnies and hearts are gonna be done when the do this again on Valentines day

  11. Rodyle says:

    Ha! It seems I am no longer alone in thinking there’s some romance between the two (Rutskarn and Mumbles, that is)! I’ve been hammering on this ever since episode four or so in the Bioshock series, for god’s sake…

  12. Supahewok says:

    So… who’s Vader. and who’s Luke?

    1. krellen says:

      Rutskarn’s obviously the young and whiny one.

      1. Rutskarn says:

        That’s not fair! Everyone’s so mean to me!

        1. Why are you complaining? the young, whiny one gets the badass cowl and red lightsaber. Which means you get to spite Mumbles even more by being evil space batman.

          1. Tizzy says:

            Maybe he meant to say (whine?): “That’s not true! That’s impossible!”

      2. Ramsus says:

        I wonder if Mumbles’ helmet gets smelly?

        1. Milos says:

          If so that could lead to an awkward nickname. Hmm… I’m all out of ideas here. Help me out, anyone?

          1. Mumbles says:

            …every time someone makes a smelly joke, a rutskarn gets punched in the stomach.

            1. therandombear says:

              we don’t have to make them…you oh so easily walk into them yourself :3

            2. TechDan says:

              I fail to see the problem here.

              1. Jarenth says:

                I approve of this line of jokes.

            3. Daemian Lucifer says:

              So we get to tease you and Rutskarn suffers at the same time?Its a win win!I feel like yeoman chambers in a pack of varren in heat!

              1. Oh hi there strange mental image, where did you come from.

              2. xXDarkWolfXx says:

                Im sending you the bill for all the mental bleach that you made me use from that metaphor

      3. Irridium says:

        Well how young? After all, Mumbles is a 10 year old boy.

        1. therandombear says:

          and rutskarn is a 12 year old boy!

          1. Jarenth says:

            So it’s less ‘romance’ and more ‘showing each other disgusting frogs and make mean jokes about cooties’.

            1. Irridium says:

              And making each other eat worms.

              1. xXDarkWolfXx says:

                And dirt dont forget dirt
                And wedgies to

                1. Gale says:

                  Still not really sure how this is supposed to be different from actual romance.

                  1. xXDarkWolfXx says:

                    Its an elementary school romance, the type of romance where the people involved dont REALIZE that the romance is occuring.

                    1. Jarenth says:

                      This man speaks the truth.

    2. X2-Eliah says:

      Vader? Luke? Oh, nonononono, we’re talking of the Episodes 1-3 here, people.

      Rutskarn: “Mumbles, you’re breaking my heaart!!!”

      1. Entropy says:

        So it’s slash after all!

        1. Entropy says:

          This went on the wrong comment. oops.

      2. xXDarkWolfXx says:

        So your saying that Mumbles would be a terrible over-acting loser who turns Vader into this little emo kid in a big black suit?

  13. Ramsus says:

    This only solidifies my theory that Ruts and Mumbles are the same person.

    *is where I’d run away if I wasn’t severely out of breath from all the previous running*

    1. Littlefinger says:

      Funny, I always got a Locke – Demosthenes vibe from the two of them. Only not quite as dysfunctional as the originals. And talking about entertainment rather than philosophy/politics.

      Come to think of it, the comparison doesn’t hold water at all?!

      1. Aldowyn says:

        Ender’s Game ftw. Except I still don’t know which is which.

      2. Klay F. says:

        I still find the entire concept of Locke and Demosthenes thing from the book hilarious. Yes I realize the book was written before the internet proper, but still: “Lets take over the world by being smart on the internet LOLZ.”

  14. Mumbles says:

    I prefer to think of us as Wheatley and GLaDOS.

    I’m Wheatley. Naturally, of course.

    1. krellen says:

      I dunno, Mumbles. You make a lot more death threats than Rutskarn does.

      1. Mumbles says:

        Gee, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

        1. Aldowyn says:

          Heh. Wheatley and GlaDos. You know Wheatley’s the MORON, right?

          *waits*

          Also, Rutskarn was the one with the British accent.

          1. Mumbles says:

            Oh, really? Is he the moron? See, I thought he was the one evveerrryoonnnee liked so much that they were willing to help him kill someone who loved them. Again.

            1. Jarenth says:

              Nope. Wheatley’s the idiot.

              End of discussion.

          2. Jibar says:

            As a resident of Britain, please. Don’t call that a British accent.

            1. Aldowyn says:

              I apologize. I should have said “British” or faux British. :D

          3. Esteis says:

            So don’t call me a moron
            I’m super astute
            There is no conundrum that my core cannot compute
            No don’t call me a moron
            You fostered balloon
            My IQ’s the infinite space from here to the moon

            1. Aldowyn says:

              I see this and I INSTANTLY start singing the dang thing in my head. I don’t know whether to thank you or curse you. Maybe both.

              Mortal Kombat Party was actually pretty good.

    2. Jordan says:

      *spends two minutes mentally reenacting the “What’s wrong with being adopted?” scene with Mumbles’ and Rutskarn’s voices respectively*

    3. Irridium says:

      He’s Moriarty, to your Holmes.

      Joker, to your Batman.

      Aristotle, to your BIG SMASHY SPIKE PLATE!

      1. xXDarkWolfXx says:

        The Seto Kaiba to your Yugi Motou

    4. Littlefinger says:

      I dunno, I see you more of the Adventure core in Ruts. You, on the other hand, are the (Batman) Fact core.

      1. Jarenth says:

        Everyone knows Mumbles would be Profanity Core and Rutskarn would be Pun Core.

        1. Irridium says:

          Who would be Crab Core?

      2. Drexer says:

        So Rutskarn is Action Comics and Mumbles is Detective Comics?

        I wonder if the two of them will also reset to #1 in a month or so.

    5. RTBones says:

      Bah. Hardcastle and McCormick.

      Although who’s who in the zoo is Anybody’s guess. Hello, Anybody?

  15. Exasperation says:

    I also notice that Josh doesn’t have a calendar, or else he’s posting on your blog from somewhere outside of normal space-time.

    1. krellen says:

      The date-thing that Shamus uses only displays the date on the most recent (the one on top) post when multiple posts are made on the same day. You’ll notice this in other instances of multi-post days as well.

      1. Exasperation says:

        I had noticed, but my way is funnier.

  16. Dante says:

    Now all we need is Ruts to sing “Love is in the Air” by Tom Jones

    1. xXDarkWolfXx says:

      I think people will agree when i say that they need to do a duet of that song. Or a song hipster enough that mumbles will willingly sing it.

        1. Klay F. says:

          I wouldn’t exactly call The Flaming Lips hipster as they routinely sell out arenas.

          1. xXDarkWolfXx says:

            We need to find the MOST hipster band ever. Although if you read Questionable Content then youll realize that the most hipster/greatest band ever doesnt actually exist because Music equals the inverse of the band times their notoriety squared meaning that no matter how obscure the band as long as they exist they cant be the greatest band ever because the greatest band ever doesnt exist

  17. deiseach says:

    Or a picture of himself.

    You mean Josh doesn’t look strikingly like Teddy Roosevelt? I’m shocked, someone is misrepresenting themselves on the web!

    1. sab says:

      Someone should do something about that.

    2. xXDarkWolfXx says:

      Pffft pictures of oneself on the internet are sooooo 2007, these days its good to just steal someone elses pictures and give them devil horns. That or 8-bit-ify yourself.

  18. Dude says:

    So when is the marriage?

    1. xXDarkWolfXx says:

      If they get married i call dibs on being the flower girl, gender conventions be damned.

      1. Dude says:

        I have a feeling Rutskarn will want to double as that. He’ll be the bride too, obviously.

        1. xXDarkWolfXx says:

          So when he walks down the aisle in his flowing white gown hed be holding the bouquet in one hand and a basket full of flower petals in the other?

          1. Gale says:

            While Mumbles is standing at the altar dressed like Batman. Naturally.

            1. xXDarkWolfXx says:

              If i ever get married im gonna dress as batman and take in the Christian Bale batman voice i cant help but wonder what I Do would sound like said in that voice

              1. Aldowyn says:

                … this pyramid was hilarious. +1 to you all.

  19. Eric says:

    Am I the only one who’s vaguely annoyed by all this stuff? I come to Twenty Sided for interesting game commentary, dammit, not “young lovebirds dance around the issue of their affections”! Admittedly my heart is a cold, black stone, and I yearn only for the screams and suffering of all humanity, but that’s not really relevant.

    (also post 100 because that damn thing was taunting me)

    1. xXDarkWolfXx says:

      According to the counter this comment im writing right here would be comment 102 on this page.
      Also if you think about it we could always start a mumbles/rutskarn drinking game.
      And count yourself lucky you dont live where i do or else youd have to control the overwhelming desire to cleanse the city in nuclear fire like i do

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