DMotR Special 1:
A Pointed Editorial
By This week I’m posting some amusing screencaps and photoshoppings while I recover from surgery. DMotR will resume next week.
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Some fans take the story more seriously than others.
Spoiler Warning:
Mass Effect
An awkward Let's Play of the Original Mass Effect, before we knew what we were doing. Enjoy terrible audio and long awkward pauses.
A Star is Born
Remember the superhero MMO from 2009? Neither does anyone else. It was dumb. So dumb I was compelled to write this.
Linux vs. Windows
Finally, the age-old debate has been settled.
Patreon!
Why Google sucks, and what made me switch to crowdfunding for this site.
Spoiler Warning:
Tomb Raider
We're usually pretty hard on reboots. So what did this game do that made us so happy?
The Best of 2012
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2012.
Awesomeness
JUST COMPLETLY LOOOOOOOOOL!!!11
laugh out out out out out out out out out loud
Hope you have a speedy recovery!
Get well soon Shamus!!
Yes, except there would have then been four 4-hour films… The Hobbits and Their Friend, Tom followed by the other three…
Makes me look forward (assuming you take the suggestions to do SW next) to seeing Han shoot first — at Lucas.
Take it easy as long as you need and I’m glad they were able to do the work laproscopically.
Star Wars has been done already. It’s another screencap comic called Darths and Droids, and its hilarious. Theyre doing all six movies, and theyre working on Episode III now.
While this is a necro, 2 year old reply….. note that he asked this in 2007. Which around when D&D started, I believe.
Good luck, Shamus. We’re all rooting for you.
I hate to say this, but I strongly recommend that you keep meticulous records of all the bills you receive in a spreadsheet (code #, date rec’d, date paid, date routed). Thee paperwork can be more painful than the surgery, and the hospital billing department WILL get things wrong…often.
If you don’t live in the U.S., forget all this.
Best of luck on a speedy and complete recovery Shamus. And given your surgery, giving us this little editorial was well and truely above and beyond.
>Dee
Seconded.
Wishing you a quick recovery!
I don’t care about Tom Bombadil half as much as the way he mucked around with Faramir!
-The Gneech
There could very easily have been 6 movies, each at 4 hours long, if the money and time had been there — I mean, look at all the extras for each special edition! That doesn’t mean they would have been GOOD movies, mind you.
Recuperate well, Shamus. We’re all behind you!
I think that arrow hit him right in the gall bladder. Well, almost.
Get better, Shamus.
Shamus – I hope for your swift and full recovery.
For me, the above arrow is for not pursuing the Hobbit backstory film with more vigour. Now it’ll never get made.
Unless Brent Ratner’s up fot it (eurgh).
I _can_ recommend Transformers as being above average quality, if you’re well enough to sit in a theatre and have your heart-rate go up (way up).
Our game continues with my little Kenku rogue still plucking at his bowstring over a year on. Obviously some gamers have good luck – I hope yours is for health.
Cheers,
DW
If I remember correctly, Pete was killed in all three movies. Any chance on screencapping those? Or correct me if I’m wrong.
Nah, Peter Jackson merely burped into the camera in Fellowship of the Ring. It was in Bree, in the rain as the hobbits were approaching The Prancing Pony.
Best of luck in your recovery, Shamus, and take your time – your comics are well worth waiting :D
Shamus, remember — laughter IS the best medicine, and you’ve been dishing out large doses for a while.
By the way, for me it’s for the Elves in the battle of Hlem’s Deep. For Pete’s sake, when he couldn’t have done without the Elves, why did the host of few hundred LIGHTFOOTED Elves thump like a German division on a parade? ;)
Nice!
Since you aren’t busy, Shamus (tee hee), can you make us a game whereby we shoot multiple arrows into Corsair Jackson, one for each affront we’ve taken at his (in our not so humble opinions) LotR mis-steps?
Let’s see:
This is for Bombadil!
This is for Faramir!
THIS is for Frodo sending Sam away!
THIS IS FOR FRODO CLINGING TO THE LEDGE BY ONE HAND, YET HANGING ON FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES ONCE GOLLUM FALLS INTO THE CRACKS OF DOOM!!!!!
Then make a follow on such game for attacking Lucas.
This is for JarJar!
This is for the Ewoks!…
Cheers. Hoping your hitpoints are fully restored speedily.
“Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow,
and if you leave him out the fans will pummel you to Jell-O.”
(I know, I know, I’m groaning too– I do the best I can with the rhymes I get.)
Brilliant screencap, Shamus. I hope your recovery is as swift and painless as possible (and not just because I want more DMotR).
Shamus, best wishes on your recovery, and thanks for even bothering to post something for your humor-hungry fans while out sick. As much as we enjoy this stuff, it’s not worth risking your health, so don’t feel obligated to continue if you’re having trouble, we’ll understand. We’ll probably be chomping at the bit for more as soon as you get better, but we’ll understand ;)
“I don't care about Tom Bombadil half as much as the way he mucked around with Faramir!”
Agreed. That was absolute slander.
“There could very easily have been 6 movies, each at 4 hours long, if the money and time had been there “” I mean, look at all the extras for each special edition! That doesn't mean they would have been GOOD movies, mind you.”
Well, Tolkien divided each of his 3 volumes into 2 “books”, so LOTR is actually comprised of books 1-6, so 6 movies would actually fit more with Tolkien’s original work. But can you imagine trying to watch them all at once?
And then imagine the line at the restroom…
Take that, Jackson, for your dwarf-hating!
And thanks, Mike, for the correction. We can only hope “Peasant Pete” went on to choke on a hunk of stale bread or something.
Tom Bombadil should have his own TV show.
p.s. check out my site for my RPG comic strip http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/RedEaglesGuild/
The lack of Bombadil was keenly noticed. But the real travesty of the series was leaving out the razing of the shire. (All the worse because it was hinted at in Galadriel’s pool!)
-blarg
Actually, of all the changes Jackson made, the one that irks me the most, easily, is the one that I can’t come up with any reason for. (Note that I do not AGREE with all of these reasons, and some are more reasonable than others.)
-The changes to Faramir can be explained by the need to show the audience the awesome corrupting power of the One Ring, AND to show the price Faramir was willing to pay to let them go – that is, it may have been an attempt to portray the same character through a different media
-Leaving out Tom: time savings – he really didn’t do much for the story (sorry, the truth hurts)
-Leaving out the conspriacy among the other Hobbits (Sam, Merry & Pippin): ditto. Nifty, but unnecessary.
-Denethor: easier to portray him as nuts than deal with introducing another Palatir, etc
-Oliphants at the battle of Minas Tirith (and other changes to the battle): yay, CGI pretties. The results of the battle were correct, OK?
I could go on. The one I simply can’t wrap my mind around:
The ENTS.
Seriously, they haven’t noticed the thousands of clear-cut acres? They’re willing to walk to their (they believe) doom over it, and they all just happen to be RIGHT THERE, but they hadn’t noticed?!?
WTF?!?!?!?
(And no, that’s not a reference to the Wrackspawn. Inside joke…)
Because they are minor characters. In hollywood, minor characters can’t have initiative or minds of their own, they have to be persuaded to act by a main character.
-the Razing of the Shire: Happens after all the other action, takes too long to be tacked on to the end, can’t possibly go in it’s own movie… That’s one of the decisions I actually agree with (not that I like it as a fan, but that I could see myself actually making the same decision if faced with the material).
shamus, best of luck with your recovery and we’ll be here for you, and your party
hope you get lots of xp for this encounter
… and for ruining Faramir!
… and for having the hobbits trick the Ents into moving against Saruman!
… and for having Frodo abandon Sam!
… and for swapping out Glorfindel for Arwen!
Pimp!
My biggest pet peeve was Shelob…
Sam’s fight with Shelob went on WAY too long in the movie… In the book, he got lucky and his basic hobbit toughness shone through…
One of the best lines in the book, which was left out of the movie:
Sam (after Shelob basically stabbed herself on Sting): Come on you filth, taste it again!!
“If you don't live in the U.S., forget all this.”
Yeah, cause if not then you’re screwed already, why bother.
Best Wishes for a speedy and easy recovery!
Worst change in the movie to me: The undead horde winning the battle of Pelinor Fields.
One question though, anyone else hoping for a Stonagorn montage?
OMG…this screenshot proves what they said in the DVD bonus features. The man REALLY IS a Hobbit.
Shamus, if the world was a fair place you would be over the surgery before it began. The laughter and good will you have generated easily outweigh a gall bladder surgery on the grand karmic scale.
Take it easy, and don’t feel the need to rush back! This forum can spin on for weeks with just a picture of P.J. getting an arrow to the gut!
Feel better soon!
And lol. Just lol. I didn’t mind missing Tom, but why oh why did the Elven troops from Lorien say the ruler of Rivendell sent them? Grumble, grumble, WTF?
(And yes, that was my biggest complaint, other than cutting out the death of Sarumon)
IIRC they did look more like high elves than wood elves, but that just makes the question “WTF is Haldir doing leading Rivendell troops? Isn’t that Elrond’s job?”
16 Mike Says: July 23rd, 2007 at 11:56 am
Nah, Peter Jackson merely burped into the camera in Fellowship of the Ring. It was in Bree, in the rain as the hobbits were approaching The Prancing Pony.
Yes, but it was a fatal belch.
“This is for all the railroading you did! ‘Have to camp on *top* of Weathertop!’ ‘Can’t go anywhere but back to Edoras!’ ‘It’s a trap! Skulls fall. Everybody dies!’ Bah!”
“This is for all the “enchanted” forests: Fangorn, Lorien, … okay, I guess that’s it, but, I mean, c’mon!”
“And this! THIS! This is because [say it with me sports fans] I HATE THIS CAMPAIGN!!!!”
I was not sorry in the least that he left out Tom Bombadil. He is tiresome. I usually skip over him when I reread…
Yay, Jackson-bashing!
Here’s my pet peeve: Making Saruman responsible for the Caradhras snowstorm. (Yes, it was discussed as a possibility by Gandalf and Aragorn, but finally dismissed.) Why do I care? Tolkien is all about world texture. The rest of the world exists outside the Sauron war, threatening as that is. Caradhras has its own reasons to dislike trespassers, and it’s fine that way. Attributing the snowstorm to Saruman’s intervention reduces the whole thing to a manichean conflict, and simplifies the world greatly. It’s a minor thing but representative of a lot of what happened in the movie. (Conversely the Ent’s initial disinterest is for the wrong reasons. But I digress.)
Anyway… Good luck with the operation as well.
Cheers
My husband once said that if LOTR had been made exactly as the books were written, it’d be twelve hours long — and a musical.
That still cracks me up. :-)
Get better soon, Shamus!
Get well soon.
I hope you feel better.
Best wishes on a speedy recovery, I can’t wait for the spider cave jokes.
Given that I’m named after Tom Bombadil back in the 70s. I appreciate this comic on several levels. ^_^
AndiN Says:
July 23rd, 2007 at 4:38 pm
My husband once said that if LOTR had been made exactly as the books were written, it'd be twelve hours long “” and a musical….
There is a musical out now
Its terrible
John
You know why he got hit with an arrow:
“I’m a Derek and Dereks don’t run.”
Hobbits bouncing on the bed ! Hate that.
Also Arragorn singing.
And the fact that when issuing the challenge at the gates of Mordor Arragorn suddenly develops an Irish accent.
And Faramir proving he is the worlds most incompetent tactician when the Orcs cross the river.
++ If you don't live in the U.S., forget all this.
+ Yeah, cause if not then you're screwed already, why bother.
The first time I’ve seen anything funnier then the comic in the comments. Now I need to clean my screen, doh!
YESSS! Bombadil has had his revenge!
Since We’re all on a Peter Jackson-Bashing kick, I want to aim a few arrows too!
What bothered me was not so much the leaving out of various people, or cutting off of certain important ending bits. LoTR is a very, very long book, and I can understand that they can’t fit in all the appendices and whatnot. So I can accept that.
What I can’t accept is the complete and total removal of the character’s dignity.
He took away the Ents’ dignity by having Merry and Pippin trick them. He took Faramir’s dignity away by turning him into his brother. He Took Theoden’s dignity away by forcing Gandalf to Save him rather than allowing him his own reclamation. Gimli, and even Legolas was reduced to cheap shots, one liners and special effects, with hardly any acknowledgement of who they are as people.
And oh my God, what he did to Denethor! How hard would it have been, even leaving out the extra palantir, to give Denethor an honorable death? It could have done almost exactly the same as in the book, with Denethor asking about his son, and then choosing to remain on the pyre, and Gandalf could have delivered his line as the flames rose higher, obscuring him from view?
He even takes away Frodo’s dignity, forcing him to squabble over the ring like that. And Sam would never have left Frodo, no matter what stupid trick Gollum played. He would have followed along fifty feet behind, waiting until Frodo needed him. That’s just who he was.
In fact, the only character he doesn’t emasculate in some fashion is Boromir, and that’s because he died before PJ could think of a way to taint him somehow.
Ok, that’s enough. Shamus, I hope you feel better soon!
That’s for leaving out Bilbo’s “All that is gold does not glitter” poem!
(If you slow down the frames, you see that the shooter in the above panel was really the old man from Helm’s Deep…)
Get well soon Shamus! Gimli asks, “…if you got the stones.” You certainly do- & have them in a jar to prove it!
Thanks for giving us some funny while you recover. I had my gallbladder out, it wasn’t fun but it only took about a week to recover. You should avoid greasy foods from now on; your stomach won’t like them anymore.
Hope you’ve got some great meds and recover quickly!
I’m still angry that Jackson left out that great song Tolkien wrote in ROTK, the one that goes “Where there’s a whip, there’s a way.”
Speedy recovery.
Health and good wishes, Shamus!
Personaly, I can do without an extra 30 minutes of rhyming nonsence, I wanted to see the Clensing of the Shire in the films.
Get well soon.
No realy. I want more comics.
Get well soon Shamus!
Can’t wait to see you use the extra footage on all those bonus-discs in this…
But take a healing potion and recover fully for us, us wolves can wait a while for our fix of DMotR
Cheers
They should have had Peter keep his glasses on. It would be a lot funnier for those who discovered it if he was wearing glasses.
In fact, he should have been in modern clothes and stuff, but he should have been “killed” in a split-second scene…in a corner of a screen…that can only be seen in widescreen.
Yeah.
I knew Bombadil wouldn’t be in it. My problem was the unneccessary changes to the story. Or even things like Elves at Helm’s Deep, that was fine, though it would have been better if they were the Grey Company instead (Aragorn’s Dunadan ranger followers)
Faramir giving in to the temptation of the ring for even a moment. (never does in the book, as soon as he knows they have the ring, they tell him their task and he lets them go…with help and advice)
Gandalf and Theoden’s positions reversed (in the book, Theoden wanted to ride out to meet the orcs of Saruman in open battle and Gandalf told him to go to Helm’s Deep)
Aragorn’s overwhelming reluctance to accept his destiny. I especially don’t like the fact that he never confronted
Sauron through the Palantir…I SOOO wanted to see the scene where the lidded eye fled before the image of Isildur that overlayed Aragorn. It is like one of the first major indications of Sauron’s fear and he completely cut it out.
The disrespect that the Rohirrim were showing Merry as a fighter. In the book, he and Pippin had already taken more than there share of orcs in both the battle where they were captured and at Isengard. When they were captured, they took several of the orcs out in melee. In the book, there is no doubt in the Rohirrim’s mind that Merry could fight better than most of their soldiers (if not as well as Eoden and Theoden). However, Merry can’t ride a horse, ponies can’t keep up and they couldn’t risk over tiring a horse or shorting a warrior supplies to carry him. Eowyn, weighing several pounds less than the average Rohirrim male, made that problem a lot easier to get around.
But, by far, the most annoying rewrite of the entire movie was the manner of the Ring’s destruction.
In the book, the Ring’s destruction is probably one of the most elegant and extended metaphors I have ever seen.
Just taking the last piece of the story, I’ll explain what I mean.
On their way up the steps of Mount Doom, Frodo and Sam are attacked by the Gollum and throw him off. Before Frodo continues on his walk, he grips the Ring and channels its power, appearing more terrible and lord-like for a moment. At this moment, he lays down the following doom on the Gollum.
“If you touch me ever again, you shall be cast yourself into the Cracks of Doom.”
Later, as Frodo is taken over by the Ring, Gollum appears and bites it off of Frodo, freeing Baggins and getting the Ring in one fell swoop. Now, what happens as he dances around calling out “My precious” almost immediately afterward?
He falls, or else a piece of rock slips under him and he trips. In either case:
He’s cast…
Into where?
…into the Cracks of Doom.
The instance is one of the best techniques I’ve seen to show that evil is, in the long-run, self-destructive.
Frodo himself mentions at some point that if it weren’t for Gollum, he’d never have succeeded. But now let’s go further.
Gollum likely wouldn’t have fallen if the Command of the Ring hadn’t been on him.
The Command of the Ring wouldn’t have been able to affect him if he had not been corrupted by it.
As such, the Ring has, itself, crafted the tool for its own destruction.
Similarly, Sauron crafted the Ring, which is, in and of itself, the eventual cause of his own defeat and destruction.
In both cases, the evil chose to craft something to meet its short term goals (Sauron – remain in Middle Earth…the Ring – get back to Sauron) but which rendered their long term goals (survival) highly vulnerable.
It was a very, very, very graceful and poignant construction.
And what does Jackson do?
He has Frodo push Gollum….
bleh
The only good part about it is that they then had the Ring’s destruction not so much tied to the lava, but rather to Frodo turning away from it and stop desiring it.
However, Jackson hadn’t been leading up to that so much at all. Not the way that Tolkien does through the entire book and the entire Silmarillion for that matter.
So, Jackson sacrificed one of the most central and sublimely displayed metaphors of the book and replaced it with a Hollywood cliffhanger…
Good one Shamus!
“This is for JarJar!
This is for the Ewoks!…”
Hey hey now – the Ewoks were actually cute – not one-tenth as offensive as JarJar…
“My husband once said that if LOTR had been made exactly as the books were written, it'd be twelve hours long “” and a musical.”
LOL – yes, yes it would have been. Everybody sang songs in those books… Some of that was a bit… cumbersome. Much less of that in Children of Hurin, I noticed. What? They made a musical? LOL
I never liked Tom Bombadil. He was just too goofy for my tastes. And don’t get me started on his wife….
“And the fact that when issuing the challenge at the gates of Mordor Arragorn suddenly develops an Irish accent.”
Suddenly? Viggo randomly hit any R in a proper noun with an accent. GondoRRRR, MoRRRRdoRRRRR.
Get well soon, Shamus!
Get well soon.