About the Author
Mass Effect
Final Fantasy X
Batman:Arkham City
Borderlands Series
Weekly Column
Champions Online
World of Warcraft
DM of the Rings
Good Robot
Project Frontier

Assassin’s Creed 2 EP12: FREE HUGS

By Shamus
on Friday Oct 7, 2011
Filed under:
Spoiler Warning


Link (YouTube)

Man, I’m really regretting falling behind on the game. I’d probably have some sort of plot-related criticism for this stuff, but this part of the game is new to me, and it’s in Italian. This was perhaps not the wisest course of action.

I will say I’m grateful to the developers for giving us a durable NPC for this escort mission. The bad guys poke a lot of holes in him, and he manages to hang in there.

5:08 It’s raining men! Really, what was that all about?

Comments (119)

  1. Nyctef says:

    Nobody lives to see their wife and children when Josh is around!

    Clearly being on fire is not a noticable heuristic for Italian merc pathfinding :)

    So now we have to murder Reginald Cuftburt so that we can become him for this series.

    Oh man, Reginald gets to troll Josh so bad. But then Reginald is dead. Long live Reginald Auditore!

    Back to the beginning of the game, and a new father figure. But no hugs :(

  2. Jabrwock says:

    “I will say I'm grateful to the developers for giving us a durable NPC for this escort mission. The bad guys poke a lot of holes in him, and he manages to hang in there.”

    It’s actually refreshing to have an escort missions in a game where the escortees can actually help defend themselves.

    • swenson says:

      Or *gasp* are strong enough to actually help YOU instead of you just helping them! HL2 Episode 2 was fun because of that. In fact, I missed the parts when I didn’t have Alyx along, because I wanted her help to shoot stuff!

      • FalseProphet says:

        Escort missions are some of the easier fights in the game, because it’s so easy to insta-kill enemies from behind when they’re occupied with the NPC you’re escorting (AKA, the “flank and shank”). Never thought D&D rules knowledge would help me in a platformer.

        • Sleeping Dragon says:

          I don’t really remember how the escort missions in AC/AC2 felt, I recently did Brotherhood though and I have to say I don’t hate the escort quests in that game. The escortees have quite a lot of health and many of them can stand their own in a fight which will, like FalseProphet said, expose the guards to your insta-kills (which is even better in Brotherhood because you can start a chain that way). Also, they follow you rather than stroll at their own leisurely pace, they don’t rush you with lines like “hurry up, we have to get out of here” while strolling at their own leisurely pace AND they mostly can and will run to keep close. It’s possible I repressed some annoying quest though…

          In fact, I remember I at one point realised that the guards weren’t attacking me at all (if I wasn’t notorious) until I myself attacked. They just went after the guy they were looking for and only after I started stabbing they realised “hey, that dude is with the target!”

  3. X2-Eliah says:

    @mumbles – why is it only guys with ‘free hugs’ shirts that are creepy? I’d say that any person wearing stuff like that is to be avoided.. Not just guys. Free Hugs Shirts are just.. there’s so much implication of wrongness.

  4. Spammy says:

    Wow. Are we sure that we’re not playing as the bearded guy? I feel like I just watched a mirror match.

  5. LurkerAbove says:

    I usually don’t even make my dude’s face. I might change the hairstyle to the longest option, but that’s usually it. No patience for it.

    • Sleeping Dragon says:

      Ahh, I think I said it during the Mass Effect season but if I get a game in the afternoon and it has a character editor with lots of sliders I won’t get into the game proper that day. It happened with both DAs, ME and it still happens with Sims whenever I start a new guy (practically every time I sit down to the game). I just keep fiddling with those wonder if the nose looks better this way or that way and if the eyes don’t seem slightly off, then I forget what the setting was for the nose that looked “quite nice but not exactly what I wanted” and can’t go back to it… the horror…

      • bit says:

        In Fallout New Vegas, I could not throw a single piece of clothing away; Not because of a pack-rat mentality, but because every time I found something interesting, I immediately ran home and tried it on with everything else. I also carried around different outfits for different situations, ranging from casual outfits for hanging around small towns, fancy ensembles for the Strip etc. And officious clothing for talking to important people. Yay roleplaying!

      • Eruanno says:

        Yeah, I remember last time I tried replaying Mass Effect 1 – I restarted the game four times because I couldn’t get my Shepard to look right. “No, the nose is wrong!”, “I don’t like that hairstyle, on second thought…”, “AAAUGH WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE SHEPARD” etc.

        I don’t want to see that intro ever again… D:

        • swenson says:

          And then there’s ME2, where you have to sit through a good five or ten minutes of gameplay/cutscenes before you even can make your Shepard’s face, which means there’s no way at all to fix it without replaying ALL of it. Even if you edit the .ini file to make those cutscenes skippable (which I used to have, but then I updated the game and I think it overwrote it), you still have to do the whole conversation/mini intro gameplay on the Normandy SR-1.

          SO ANNOYING.

  6. Indy says:

    I think that was the best chase I’ve ever seen. Somebody definitely should make a clip of that with Yakity Sax.

  7. Hitch says:

    Shamus, put down the Yogsbox. You have more important things to do. Unless you’re making a Minecraft Spoiler Warning. (Which I can’t imagine being all that interesting, but I’m sure you guys could make it awesome.)

  8. Ringwraith says:

    I think that falling guard at 5:08 got pushed off a roof during a fight, which is why he randomly fell backwards into the street from above.

    I’m not one to fuss over appearance massively that often, aside from that I tend to draw a line when something is very obviously ugly and it has to be a really good bit of equipment for me to even think of wearing it. Although I am guilty of passing up better stuff because it doesn’t look as cool as my current stuff, but that’s usually when I’ve got some really awesome-looking stuff on at that time.

  9. Exasperation says:

    You know, you would never have managed to catch him if he weren’t carrying all those incinerators.

  10. Guthie says:

    Am I the only one who thought certain angles during Ezio and Lorenzo’s heart to heart made Ezio look like War from Darksiders?

  11. Factoid says:

    Are you guys keeping the italian next week? It seems to be dragging the show down a little.

    • Sleeping Dragon says:

      I’m surprised how good it sounds. I was expecting I would cringe my teeth after hearing the game in English due to the contrast with the voices but the selection is pretty good (I think someone said the same thing on the show earlier this week). Still, the fact that three out of four people can’t read the dialogue AND haven’t actually played through the game (as I understand it) harms the show I think.

      • swenson says:

        Agreed with all of that. I kinda like the Italian, to the point that if I ever played this game, I might actually turn on Italian once you get to that part, but it does make it difficult for this sort of series.

        Still, though. This is making me seriously consider buying AC2 and I would give a great deal of consideration to doing the Italian thing. It just sounds so much better.

  12. Pete says:

    15:45: Its at this point that it becomes official that Ezio is Renaissance Batman.

    Also, as promised, the following have been already used.
    Assassin's: Heed Need Read Bleed Deed Dweeb Steed Breed Seed Plead Feed Cred Freed Tweed Mead Indeed Weed Guaranteed Agreed Screed Intercede Proceed Lead Speed Bead Flee Nosebleed Greed Stampede Misread Misdeed Reed Peeved Degreed Succeed.
    And one of my own – after all, we dont want any Assasin’s repeat.

  13. Tobias says:

    I just thought of a good explanation for the pimpy plastic armor.

    It is how Desmond imagines an assassin should look like. He wore something like this at some convention. So now when he plays assassin, he dreams up a dress like this.

    • nerdpride says:

      On the subject of clothes, Ezio’s pink-red hood makes it look like his face is a clitoris.


    • Gamer says:

      But that explanation doesn’t work with the Animus. What it does is take a sample of the user’s DNA and turns it into computer code so that he can relive his ancestor’s memories in a video game-like simulation. All of the objects are taken wholesale from the ancestor’s memory. Desmond is essentially nothing more than the player.

      OMG Josh is Desmond. :(

  14. Wolverine says:

    When I played AC2, I never encountered any of these bugs. Must have played the game wrong :)

  15. CTrees says:

    When I worked at Target, I used to occasionally go shop at Walmart still in a shirt that said Target. The looks from employees were actually kinda fun, but I did get people asking me for help sometimes. I always gave them bad advice, just for being that stupid.

  16. AlternatePFG says:

    At 9:42, did Rutskarn just yell “Telepor” or am I hearing things wrong?

  17. ehlijen says:

    The Fall: Last Days of Gaia has a sidequest where you have to help fix the Dolorian.


  18. Factoid says:

    I wanted to leave a note for the editor here: Did you know that the red font you’re using for the intro screen is basically unreadable at low bitrates and on small screens? It’s OK on a computer monitor, but if you stream to a mobile device it’s just a blurry mess.

    I may very well be the only one this affects, but I thought I’d leave the feedback anyway. Not really a big deal, but on the mobile devices I frequent (android and ipod touch) the red text is compressed into garbage. The white shows up OK though.

  19. Daemian Lucifer says:

    Lorenzo and ezio in the new hit:Assassin heat.Rated XXXXXR.

    Ill also cast my voice in the dont-bother-with-looks crowd.Rarely do I find something so cool that I simply must wear,and never have I found something so hideous that I had to take off.

  20. Airsoftslayer93 says:

    The thing with the timings is that because of it’s open world nature you can approach different ‘memories’ at any time, and if those memories didnt occur at that time then it skips forward to when it does.

  21. Jakale says:

    I like how in the same episode we get to see an example of how guards don’t die if you only push them off a short fall in combat, but how that same fall(height-wise) will murder them if you assassin-pull-them-down.

  22. Cineris says:

    I really wish you guys would return to English audio. Hearing English commentary mixed with Italian audio and trying to read English subtitles is just too many crossed wires in my brain.

    • Moriarty says:

      yeah, this. I have to repeat every cutscene at least once to understand what’s going on

    • Peter H. Coffin says:

      Honestly, I couldn’t often hear the game dialog anyway, under the general conversation, so I’ve practiced skillz at reading dialog and listening to a conversation that’s only tangentially related and keeping both in my head at the same time. The game dialog, at least never contests with anything I actually want to pay attention to otherwise on the screen; the subtitles and the action never really never happen at the same time.

  23. Zerotime says:

    Why is there a giant slice of pizza on the side of the building at 19:02?

  24. Some Jackass says:

    Greatest chase sequence EVER. Reginald wouldve gotten away too if he didnt weight himself down with unnecessary weapons. He mightve even stood a chance in battle if he didnt put all of his skill points into guns as opposed to melee…especially since there are no guns, but doing something so counterintuitive would be part of what made him a Reginald in the first place.
    I’m suprised they hung his corpse though. If he was true to his title of Reginald, then he would have deserved a fate much worse than that.

  25. Dante says:

    Why does it seems like Mumbles is the manliest of the group?

  26. BeamSplashX says:

    Shamus, I think you meant ALTAIRed Beast.

    Also, the picture for The Pazzi Conspirators looks like it should be the album artwork for The Very Best of… The Pazzi Conspirators.

  27. decius says:

    17:57- Press X to no homo.

  28. Wait, Mumbles doesn’t like playing dress up with video game characters? That doesn’t even make any sense

  29. Methermeneus says:

    I can’t be the only one who, when Josh mentions the conspirator, “Frencesco diPazzi,” I hear the mafia capo “Francesco da patsy.” Can I?

  30. Sleeping Dragon says:

    The moment I Josh started climbing into the restricted zone I was giggling wondering when he is going to realise the huge green marker on the map is outside of it. Then I thought “well, at least he’ll synch the viewpoint,” which of course he didn’t.

    I was surprised the guards didn’t respawn though, I thought their placement/patrol routes were memory specific.

  31. Bryan Bridges says:

    Nice series. Love your work Shamus.

  32. Slothful says:

    Does anyone else notice how Ezio is just clubbing people with his delicate stealth-stabbing device? If that thing can break, it should be absolutely unusable by now.

    He should really just get a sword like a normal person. By this point, the chinese emperor probably knows about that thing.

    • Raygereio says:

      The game even lampshades that. One of the optional side-quest-assassination-missions orders you to kill your target by any means – exept with the wrist blade, as anyone will know it was you who did it if you used it.

  33. *laughs* The “ladder” chase scene cracked me up, it really reminded me of Benny Hill http://www.swi9a.com/v2/action/viewvideo/19451/benny_hill/
    (Note! darn hard to find good vids on the net of the chase scenes+music for some reason).
    When doing the ladder runs the Benny Hill “theme” was playing in my head, hehe.

    Corncob might do the trick as a royalty free alternative http://incompetech.com/m/c/royalty-free/index.html?genre=Jazz

  34. McNutcase says:

    And I JUST NOW realised I’ve been failing in my duty to hunt down and identify the music used.

    Aces High, in the Funk section, or just go by feel and pick “Bouncy”. You’re welcome.

  35. SKD says:

    These games remind me of why I dislike platformers. But I find that I like them much more than I thought I would before I picked them up on Steam a while back. At the pace I am going I hope to be caught up by the release of Revelations.

  36. Gamer says:

    Wow. It’s been awhile since you guys updated. Any problems, or is life keeping you all busy lately?

Leave a Reply

Comments are moderated and may not be posted immediately. Required fields are marked *


Thanks for joining the discussion. Be nice, don't post angry, and enjoy yourself. This is supposed to be fun.

You can enclose spoilers in <strike> tags like so:
<strike>Darth Vader is Luke's father!</strike>

You can make things italics like this:
Can you imagine having Darth Vader as your <i>father</i>?

You can make things bold like this:
I'm <b>very</b> glad Darth Vader isn't my father.

You can make links like this:
I'm reading about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darth_Vader">Darth Vader</a> on Wikipedia!

You can quote someone like this:
Darth Vader said <blockquote>Luke, I am your father.</blockquote>