Marlow Briggs Special EP1: Marlow Briggs and the Better Than It Should Be

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Jul 16, 2014

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 132 comments


Link (YouTube)

Everything about this is just so diabolically absurd. The way Marlow walks with his palms facing backwards. The glitchy animations. The nonsensical setup. The Grade-A bulk AMERICAN CHEESE PRODUCT dialog. The way the main bad guy has this massive tent filled with nothing but a desk and henchmen. How he orders his henchwoman to kill Marlow with the (one would assume) incredibly rare, possibly fragile, certainly priceless, clearly impractical DOUBLE SCYTHEActually, there are two blades on each end. Is… is this a QUAD SCYTHE? instead of, you know, just shooting his dumb ass.

I like how the entire game wouldn’t have happened if Marlow wasn’t such a swaggering macho dunce. Like, he could have said, “Okay, sorry for trying to quit. We’re off to translate those codex things now. Bye!” And then just walked out.

But noooo. He just had to pretend he was an invincible murder god. Although in his defense, his reward for being so stupid was to become an invincible murder god. So I dunno. Call it a wash.

For the record: Rutskarn wasn’t available this week, and we didn’t want to finish Skyrim without him. Also, I feel like I really want to see Rutskarn’s reaction to this. We might come back after Skyrim is done.

 

Footnotes:

[1] Actually, there are two blades on each end. Is… is this a QUAD SCYTHE?



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132 thoughts on “Marlow Briggs Special EP1: Marlow Briggs and the Better Than It Should Be

  1. drkeiscool says:

    Good heavens, this looks like the best worst game ever.

    1. Aaron says:

      yes it does, but on the other hand if they make this the next game, i predict another version of the alan wake season where they comment on the actual game once every 35 minutes

  2. Zukhramm says:

    PEOPLE WHO USE A LOT OF CAPS ARE SELF AWARE!

    1. The Rocketeer says:

      PEOPLE WHO USE ALL CAPS ARE THE MARLOW BRIGGS OF TYPISTS

      1. Shamus says:

        MARLOW BRIGGS AND THE CAPSLOCK OF DEATH

        1. MrGuy says:

          YOU COMMAND THE POWER OF THE ANCIENTS AND YOU KEEP USING THE CAPS LOCK?

          1. Daemian Lucifer says:

            MARLOW BRIGGS USES ONLY RIGHT SHIFT!HE IS THAT AWESOME!

          2. Bloodsquirrel says:

            CAPSLOCK IS FOR WEAKLINGS. REAL MEN PUSH SHIFT FOR EACH LETTER TO GIVE EACH CAP THE PERSONAL TOUCH OF CAPINESS.

        2. Nimas says:

          Bah, that reminds me of Harry Potter and the Natural 20, a thoroughly awesome D&D/Harry Potter crossover fan fic that I recommend everyone check out.

          1. MrGuy says:

            Meh. How lame do you have to be to create crossover fan fiction between a popular series of novels (later turned into movies) and a D&D campaign?

            1. Daemian Lucifer says:

              And how much lamer do you have to be to read it from beginning to the end.

            2. Felblood says:

              You can make a good story out of anything, but that combination doesn’t really indicate the work of the creative and original thinker who could actually make it work.

              Morbid … curiosity… rising….

              1. Jonathan says:

                It’s actually pretty good. He plays it straight. One 11 year old munchkin wizard who thinks everything works in 6-second rounds, XP, levels, saving throws, and Vancian magic…in Hogwarts, where everyone else’s magic works a totally different way.

          2. Cuthalion says:

            Wow. Thank you. This is pretty great. (But I’m going to have to read a synopsis of that Potter book to be in on more of the joke.)

  3. Nimas says:

    I….that…that was beautiful.

  4. WILL says:

    Oh damn, Spoiler Warning is playing the game I gifted! Did not expect this.

  5. Isaac says:

    This game actually looks…decent?

    1. Evilmrhenry says:

      It actually is. It’s obviously a console port, and has rough edges, but it’s awesome in a B-movie kind of way.

    1. Tizzy says:

      If I was buit like Marlow Briggs and about to get impaled by a quad-scythe, I think I would fight the guys holding my arms slightly more vigorously…

  6. You know it just does not look spooky enough to be part Majoras mask really.
    Part Splaterhouse may be more of the right idea actually. (Evilmask+beat’em up+Bad plot)See Here.

  7. Phantos says:

    I don’t think this is self-aware.

    I think the developer is just hoping people mistake it for being self-aware.

    1. ET says:

      I think even that is too much credit; They probably don’t even know they should be copying self-aware games. They just know that some games with weird wacky stuff get good ratings sometimes, so they’re copying that. :)

      1. Thomas says:

        Yes! That is perfect =D

  8. silver Harloe says:

    “a NEW breed of warrior RETURNS”

    which is it, game?

    1. ET says:

      New and improved!

    2. MrGuy says:

      So, Lonestar, we meet again. For the first time. For the last time.

      1. Phantos says:

        There’sh only one way thish endsh, Kal! Either you die or I do!

        1. Hitch says:

          WE FIGHT! OR WE DIE!

    3. McNutcase says:

      Original New And Improved!

      1. lucky7 says:

        The All New Crossfire returns…not even the title can agree with itself!

    4. Justin says:

      I’m pretty sure it’s just a procedural Markov chain of action blurbs.

  9. Jeremy says:

    Huh, they managed to fit the Golden Gate Bridge pylons into the jungle to hang that cable car off…

    1. MintSkittle says:

      Well, since Dr Evil there is apparently building a massive industrial complex in the middle of these ruins, he’ll need some form of mass transit to bring in all the workers, especially now that Testosterone McManly has just carved up the last bunch.

      1. Gordon says:

        See, I get where you’re going with the whole “Splint Hardcheese Bolt Ironstag” naming thing, and ordinarily I’m onboard…

        but the protagonist is already called Marlow friggin’ Briggs. I think he might be immune to hyperbole.

        1. Felblood says:

          I don’t see how that’s much different from MSTK making fun of “Captain David Ryder.”

  10. Ofermod says:

    Are those… are those descriptions Mumbles gives of the game the real promo product? Like, I find it really hard to believe. And yet… I can’t dismiss it as impossible.

    1. Shamus says:

      100% real product description off of Steam. Also, it really does use EMPHASIS CAPS. Not a joke:

      http://store.steampowered.com/app/249680/

      1. Thearpox says:

        Oh god. I was giggling the whole way through. (Although the game description might have been written by someone self-aware, while the game was made by someone not.)

        Also, THIS is on the game description:
        “¢ Leap out of HUGE EXPLOSIONS in slow motion

        1. WILL says:

          Trust me, the game is entirely self-aware. The mask is constantly breaking the fourth wall and the ending is completely ridiculous.

          1. Wide And Nerdy says:

            If it is, its clearly the Sharknado kind of self aware where its like “We’re deliberately making a bad movie but we’re also clearly bad at making movies.” There’s stuff that’s clearly schlock on purpose and stuff that leaves you wondering if they meant to do that.

            1. Hitch says:

              “We’re not really good at this, but we’ve found a way to make ineptitude a virtue.”

        2. Felblood says:

          I get the feeling that there were some influential members of the dev team who were un-ironically on-board with all the worst ideas, and the rest of the team decided to just make the best game they could, while also humoring their insane leadership.

      2. “GAME OF THE MONTH”
        5/5 ““ Pixel Perfect Gaming

  11. Daemian Lucifer says:

    *khm*Actually it has 2 blades on one end,and 1 on the other end,so its a trythe.

    1. Zerotime says:

      And you just know that Schick is only weeks away from releasing one with four blades and a lubricating strip.

      1. Jake says:

        Of course, Gillette would just skip right to five blades.

        (Side note: that article was actually written about a year before Gillette released a five-blade razor to compete with Schick’s four-blader. Which is about the greatest thing ever.)

        1. Daemian Lucifer says:

          No,this is the best thing ever(you know its bound to happen)

  12. Daemian Lucifer says:

    Cant wait for you guys to reach the crane boss,because that is amazing.

  13. Joseph says:

    Watching this made me realise how great a Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance special would be.

    Not to suggest for a moment that this episode wasn’t satisfying (it was, I’ve always liked the specials). But the casts’ reactions to some of the events in MGR would be priceless.

    1. IFS says:

      Oh god that would be fantastic, though I don’t know if any of the cast really follows the Metal Gear series at all. Maybe they could bring back George from Super Bunnyhop? he’s currently doing a revengeance difficulty playthrough of the game.

    2. WILL says:

      I don’t think anyone on the case could really appreciate Platinum’s particular type of crazy.

      1. Joakim Karlen says:

        Chip and Ironicus did okay. Look here.

        1. Geebs says:

          I second that one. Ironicus is SO EXCITED every time something awesome or insane happens in MGR:R, which works out at being about once every three seconds. Also, Platinum games are fun in direct proportion to how good you are at them, and that LP taught me a lot of neat things to try out for myself.

      2. Klay F. says:

        Not to mention the kind of attention you need to pay to the game to succeed. Not to slag on Josh’s playing ability, but a Platinum game isn’t a game you can comment on and play at the same time, as tons of youtube LP’s can attest.

  14. Thomas says:

    Oh man this is genius. What makes it great is that a lot of it seems actually pretty competent amongst all the bad. Visually someone spent a lot of time making it look great. And mixing God of War with Uncharted isn’t the worst game idea ever

    …but they have literally no clue how to frame anything and give it context. And the pacing is insane =D A guy is talking to his girlfriend. His girlfriend is talking contract negotiations with her boss. Because of evil codexes! Then he kills you and you’re alive because of this magic mask and then you’re killing everyone with mystical powers. And now you’re on a cable car! Now Mercs are shooting you with rocket launchers that you reflect! Now you jump super slow mo over the truck! What truck? The truck that just exploded! And the crates are flying up in the air in slow mo! And now you’re in an oil refinery! In a turret! Being attacked by helicopters!

    A man rolled out of bed, there were no survivors.

    1. krellen says:

      This is the RPG your five-year-old runs for you.

      1. McNutcase says:

        Then I have about four and a half years to wait until AWESOMENESS occurs.

      2. Ithilanor says:

        So someone finally got around to making an Axe Cop game, and this is the end result?

        1. MadTinkerer says:

          I was actually thinking something like Double Dragon Neon minus the grinding would make the perfect Axe Cop game.

      3. Felblood says:

        Axe Cop!

  15. MrGuy says:

    Also, while I realize it’s low on the WTF scale for this game, but who the hell calls a refinery an “Ore Purification Plant”?

  16. Thomas says:

    I think it was meant to be self-aware, but they were actually bad at making the bad game they were trying to make. They wanted to make a ridiculous over the top action game with a goofy mask and ridiculous explosions… and then had no idea that the pacing and delivery of the over the top action and explosions was hilariously bad.

    I think the joke was meant to be, look at this game with this dude with a mask doing this awesome and ridiculous slo-mo jumps over a truck, but they didn’t mean to introduce a truck out of nowhere with no set-up.

    I don’t think you can fake that sort of manicness. No-one is that good a comedian

  17. MrGuy says:

    Honestly, this is the game Duke Nukem Forever should have been.

    Absurd, over-the-top action sequence, dialogue so awful it’s amazing, improbable physics, nonsensical action sequences full of explosions, and just self aware enough to make you think the developers are in on the joke at times.

    Throw in a little cartoonish misogyny and change the mask to a pair of sunglasses and we’re there.

    I would have absolutely forgiven the decade of waiting if the end product had been this joyfully bad.

    Edit: Oh, right, and the scythe would have to shoot bullets, of course.

    1. lucky7 says:

      The gunscythe:: a gun that shoots scythes!

      1. Felblood says:

        YES! ALL OF THE YES!

    2. A bit difficult to hear but the voice acting seemed pretty OK. Which is a surprise.

  18. guy says:

    This is most certainly impressive. It’s like someone wrote a masterclass parody of over-the-top games and then forgot to tell the rest of the team it wasn’t supposed to be serious.

  19. Boison says:

    I don’t remember if this has been brought up previously, but Bayonetta might make for a cool SW season. George Weidman might come on as a guest; he seems to like the game a lot, and may have something interesting to say about it.

    1. Isaac says:

      I think SW only does the PC version of games

  20. Josh at 8:21 “I guess I am the mask”

    I KNEW IT! I said it before that I suspected Josh was actually Loki. Now he slipped up and admitted it.

  21. Lachlan the Mad says:

    Comment game suggestion: How many alternative courses of action in the prologue could have prevented the entire game from happening?

    My ideas:

    -Girlfriend should probably have never taken a job with Dr Doom in the first place.

    -Girlfriend shouldn’t have invited Marlo to the dig site, no matter how desperate she was feeling.

    -Girlfriend should have scarpered the second she saw the dig site — she’s willing to quit over the archaeological integrity of the site, but did she notice the oil refinery on the back verandah?

    -Girlfriend should have resigned by mail. Preferably delivered from several countries away.

    -Dr Doom should have kept Marlon as a hostage, thus giving him leverage over Girlfriend.

    -Dr Doom should have had his henchmen shoot Marlon, like normal henchmen.

    1. guy says:

      -Minion should have retrieved the mystical dual sycthe from Marlon’s chest cavity.

      1. syal says:

        You guys are both going to look stupid when it turns out Boss and Girlfriend set this whole thing up to make Marlow a test subject for the mask.

        1. The Rocketeer says:

          So many game, book, and movie plots are improved by assuming they’re the build-up to a surprise birthday party, Harvey Birdman style.

  22. Sorites says:

    “Rise and breathe air free of the stench of Sebulba once more!”

    If that mask can undo The Phantom Menace, I’m down.

    1. Neruz says:

      Xibalba (roughly translates to ‘Place of Fear’) is the Mayan Underworld so we’re dealing with either an ancient Mayan or Aztec spirit (the two cultures typically get mixed up by the layperson).

  23. McNutcase says:

    The video thumbnail and title made me think this was going to be a point-and-click adventure game. How wonderfully wrong I was…

  24. Marlow Briggs and the Mask of Death was developed by Zootfly, a Slovenian video game developer.

    I’m guessing that the idiocy of the game is NOT self-aware, but rather a cultural misunderstanding of American action movies.

    Here’s a picture of the developers.

    I am compelled to note that there is NOT A SINGLE WOMAN in this picture.

    1. C0Mmander says:

      So while I’m horrible at expressing this kind of sentiment I think it is important to mention that I found this comment unnecessary

    2. Otters34 says:

      …That’s a little disappointing. And goes a long way to explain how extremely guy-humor goofy the game is shaping up to be. There’s no breath for character beats or any kind of touching moment, and you know Marlow is a Good Guy because he flips out like a doofus when somebody isn’t too nice to His Girl. And also explains the ‘sultry sidekick woman with a whip’ part.

      At least it’s thoroughly direct and upfront about itself. Though I dread the coming moments when there won’t be as many insane flips and explosions to distract from the terrible story and dialogue.

      EDIT: Also, go Slovenia. This is easily one of the most entertaining God of War clones I’ve seen in a long while. Even if it’s also among the dumbest.

      1. Evilmrhenry says:

        “Though I dread the coming moments when there won't be as many insane flips and explosions to distract from the terrible story and dialogue.”

        Good news: That moment never occurs.

    3. WILL says:

      I’ve played the game, it pokes fun at itself a lot and the ending is nonsensical and funny.

      The fact there’s no women on the dev team has nothing to do with anything. There’s 5 minutes of plot in this game, the rest is gameplay and action.

    4. Ranneko says:

      I may be a terrible person, I was slightly more bothered by the prevalence of CRTs on the monitors in the background. CRTs!

      1. Bubble181 says:

        They’re laughably cheap, still boast very high resolutions, and give better color depth and faster refresh than most LCD, LED or plasma screens. Yes, they take up space, they produce heat ad they’re horribly inefficient in some way, but CRTs still have a reason to exist. Also, let me repeat -cheap-. As in, in Eastern Europe, you can often get them for nearly-free since whole containers of them that never sold in the West were dumped there.

      2. ias says:

        “A brainstorming session of the ZootFly core team in 2005.”

        This was 9 years ago when CRTs still existed :)

  25. Ithilanor says:

    I love regular Spoiler Warning, I really do.

    But interludes like this are the most hilarious things ever.

  26. Jakale says:

    Wow, that was like something I’d imagine coming from the Saint’s Row universe. As in the game was made by someone in that universe.

    The pacing is on caffeine, everything is over the top, there’s no subtlety and not a lot of breathers that aren’t also mook fights. If it weren’t so silly this would be very tiring.

    Also, I think this is just another grocery store run for Marlow. He’s so used to this stuff that he doesn’t even get adrenaline highs from zip-lining away from exploding ore crates.

    1. McNutcase says:

      Starring PIERCE WASHINGTON as Marlow Briggs! Coming SOON to an arcade near YOU!

    2. C0Mmander says:

      That picture does make me doubt of the talent of the developers since if that look this was intended, it clash horribly with the rest of the character who’s a bit of a meathead but had shown some excitement out of other situations. Although it would be some shit if it was just a bug that frozed him like that.

      1. Bryan says:

        Odd; the entire model looks different than the one used in the cutscene to me. Different proportions of upper body size to head size, for instance.

        Though it’s not like I’m going to watch the intro cutscene again to make sure… but it does look like they did something different for some reason. Maybe getting killed by a triscythe took a bunch of his upper body size away, because reasons. Or maybe the mask did it.

        Which doesn’t really mean much in the way of his face texture (and thus expression), I suppose. Hmm.

    3. krellen says:

      Oh, give the guy a break. That was take thirty-seven; he was tired, and no one really expected anyone to zoom in a close up in the middle of that explosion.

  27. General Karthos says:

    It kinda reminds me of “Disaster: Day of Crisis” with all the over-the-topness.

  28. nerdpride says:

    I think Spoiler Warning and cast should be more self-aware.

    This episode is really funny of course, but only because it’s full of energy and things are happening that everyone knows are quirky and over-the-top. Everyone should take note that Josh is playing almost like a normal person would and there aren’t even any terrible bugs popping out (it looks like what I might even expect to see while playing a game like this) and other cast are actually responding to things going on in the game and staying on some kind of coherent topic. It’s amazing. At one point I think someone even said, “If Rutskarn were here, I be he’d say something about [this thing].” If Rutskarn were there, he’d make terrible puns. DUH. Except maybe he’d be solemn for this game for some reason.

    I would’ve expected more gloom about a Michael Bay kind of game, but nobody even screamed or cried about how much they hated this season and it was the second or third worst of all of them. I don’t think racism was brought up at all (you can BE an African dude and not have voodoo warrior gods crap going on… some of them are nerds even, come on). Did you even try to be critical?

    Anyway, it was sort of neat but I don’t like it very much, thank you. There’s plenty of PewDiePie out there for people who like this kind of thing. And for the self-aware thing, I don’t think it matters very much whether it knows how bad it is. While it might be good enough to make money, it isn’t better than it needs to be for me to buy it!

    1. WILL says:

      Why bring up racism? Aztecs have nothing to do with voodoo or black people. He’s black because I dunno, I guess it looked cooler.

      There’s nothing evil, racist or sexist about this game, it’s just silly and fun.

      1. MadTinkerer says:

        ” I don't think racism was brought up at all (you can BE an African dude and not have voodoo warrior gods crap going on… some of them are nerds even, come on).”

        So… If the protagonist was YET ANOTHER Straight White Dude with the exact same origin and abilities then it wouldn’t be racist? People like you are the reason Aiden Pearce exists. (EDIT: to be clear, I’m aiming this at nerdpride, not WILL)

    2. Chris says:

      There's plenty of PewDiePie out there for people who like this kind of thing.

      I don’t know if that’s really charitable… I mean, historically speaking our one-off specials (Elevator Source, Surgeon Simulator, Scribblenauts, Cherry Blossom Murders, etc.) tend to be humor oriented, with only passive attempts at serious criticism. We do them mostly to generate content during off weeks where we’re either in between main seasons or for whatever reason can’t progress on our main season content but still want to make sure we have something (especially now that we have a Patreon running and there’s a bigger obligation to actually produce stuff and not just disappear for half a month). And the reason these episodes are typically more humor oriented is that the games are decided on pretty much off the cuff without assurance that everyone has played it or even that we have anything interesting to say about it ahead of time.

      So yeah, they’re certainly less critical than our mainline episodes. But I’m not sure that’s a problem? I mean, we definitely try to treat these as a “sometimes food” – the last one we did was Dark Souls in May, and before that it was our mid-season special for Amnesia in February. So we don’t indulge in these things regularly; they’re a refreshing break where we can cut loose for a week after a few months of more serious episodes. And I don’t think episodes we do for yucks invalidate any of the points we make in more serious episodes. They’re an addendum, a bonus episode, a result of us having to choose between making “nothing” or “something” on weeks where our more serious main stuff is blocked.

      Even if we tried to be critical, though, I’m not sure there’s much to discuss aside from the Poe’s Law style question of whether it’s satirical or not. Like, if it’s not in on it’s own joke then it’s just an unbelievably stupid game and we’ll laugh at it, and if it is in on the joke then we’ll laugh with it. It doesn’t offer much in the way of subtext. Marlow Briggs is a series of increasingly absurd cut scenes, set pieces, and dudes getting punched with a double-sided scythe. No matter what there’s only so much analysis you can do with a formula like that without just retreading the usual “escapist power fantasy” rants.

      But really I guess what prompted me to respond was that Spoiler Warning seems to have a “formula” in a lot of people’s minds. I.E., Josh plays in a subversive manner and runs into wackypants bugs no one ever sees, Chris and Shamus try to dissect and analyze how the game works or doesn’t work, Mumbles sews chaos and talks about cannibalism and Batman, and Rutskarn throws out puns and occasionally sings or reads erotic fiction. And inevitably when we branch away from this setup some people get upset that we’re not doing “Spoiler Warning” right. And I just… I dunnno, I just think that’s a terrible approach. Comparing us to PewDiePie for doing a goofy funny episode stings, but I think what would really represent a degree of soulless selling out would be for all five of us to show up every week and try to fill our “roles” rather than just being who we are and/or reacting to the game on a case by case basis. If that means not doing Spoiler Warning “right” but covering a broader range of games (including some bad ones like this) and having the ability to be both Serious Arthouse Critic Man and Guy Who Laughs At Too Many Explosions, I’ll happily make Spoiler Warning incorrectly for as long as Shamus’ll have me.

      1. Jason-L says:

        Honestly, it felt like a Spoiler Warning with less Rutskarn puns, Mumbles swearing, Josh interrupting everyone and Shamus getting depressed. A nice break from the slog of Skyrim, really. Keep up the good, entertaining work.

        1. Daemian Lucifer says:

          “Honestly, it felt like a Spoiler Warning with less Rutskarn puns, Mumbles swearing, Josh interrupting everyone, Chris ludonarrative dissonancing and Shamus getting depressed. A nice break from the slog of Skyrim, really. Keep up the good, entertaining work.”

          Fixed.

          1. Humanoid says:

            Well it came complete with the “Stop shooting that fire at me!” Even drunk Josh still tried to abort the catchphrase, with only partial success.

      2. Daemian Lucifer says:

        I just want to say that it is hilarious that Chris’s catchphrase (I dunno) translates into text as well.

      3. MichaelGC says:

        Can’t speak for anyone else, but if I were to make a list of the things I like about Spoiler Warning then puns, glitches, arty criticism, cannibalism and [whatever single thing is supposed to summarise Shamus] wouldn’t even figure.

        OK maybe some of those would get a brief mention at the bottom!

        Josh knows a lot about real-world subjects (e.g. history or the military), and although we joke at times, is actually very very good at actually playing the damn games. Mumbles knows more about comics than Stan Lee and is great at communicating her personal experience of a game. Chris has a great sense of humor (well, they all do) and has seemingly played every game which came out in the last 10 or 15 years. Shamus has seemingly played most games which came out in the last 30 or 35 years and can understand and communicate the technical aspects. Jarenth brings a unique non-US perspective (unique to the show, obviously) and a wonderfully dry wit. “Rutskarn = puns” I find particularly bothersome, to the point where I don’t actually believe anyone genuinely thinks that. Rutskarn has the ability to absorb himself into a game-world, take on board the lore and the logic, and then use that internal perspective to inform his (positive or negative) criticism. And do funny voices.

        Is that my bullety-pointy list? Are those the “roles” each “should” play? No, of course not – to me that notion seems ridiculous. It’s just my long-winded way of saying I completely agree with all o’ Chris’ wall-o’-text, and also me taking the opportunity to say some hopefully-nice things.

        1. Mumbles says:

          This guy gets it.

        2. Wide And Nerdy says:

          “Is that my bullety-pointy list?”

          You pulled a Campster. He does the “-y” thing way more than he says “ludonarrative dissonance.” This is his thing.

          Also, all of what you said but times two.

        3. WILL says:

          For all the bunny hopping Josh does, he’s probably one of the few competent Let’s Players I’ve seen. He knows the game and doesn’t waste any time.

          1. Trix2000 says:

            At least when he’s not doing it on purpose. :)

        4. brashieel says:

          THIS THIS THIS!

          You have managed to sum up just about everything I wanted to say about why I keep watching (and supporting) Spoiler Warning, and you did a better job of it that I could.

          This show is so much fun because of the wide array of things each person brings to it. If it was somehow boiled down into a sitcom style one-character-trait-per-cast-member formula, it would lose just about everything that makes it so much fun.

      4. While I appreciate the “Spoiler Warning formula” I don’t care what the SW gang do as long as Me, Myself and I find it entertaining (which I have in 99% of episodes, and that’s saying something, I’m very picky in my tastes).

        As long as Spoiler Warning don’t start to use stupid forced “funny” thumbnails for the youtube videos I don’t mind.
        If the is one thing that really irks me these days it’s the youtube thumbnails that try to be “funny” with weird and wacky faces in thumbnails.

        I have no idea if (Josh?) just let youtube auto-pick the thumbnail or if he man manually select a frame or not, but so far all Spoiler Warning thumbnails have reflected what the episode is about.

        Errant Signal though has pretty damn good thumbnails and I’d like to see Spoiler Warning with something similar.
        Jim sterling’s youtube channel has pretty good thumbnails too, but nowhere as slick and clean as what Chris has (don’t even need to rerad the title, one glance and you know what it is about, and the video list does not look busy or messy at all), nice work C-man.

        1. Isaac says:

          Idk man I’d like to see some [SCARY] facecam LPs on SW. Maybe even some Gmod vids of Prop Hunt with wacky thumbnails.

          1. syal says:

            But all the facecam faces should be Rutskarn drawings.

        2. Humanoid says:

          It would be inventory management thumbnails all the time if Josh had his way.

      5. Wide And Nerdy says:

        My own version of this experience with the expectation of a Spoiler Warning formula was with Mass Effect 2 which was the first LP of yours that I watched. I was disappointed that you didn’t continue to use the opening and closing theme music from that season which I found to be very classy but minimalist. Very tone appropriate for your show. But I have accepted that you play around with your format.

        But if you were ever to think about locking into a theme, consider that one. I’m just happy you still use it for the fast forward montages.

  29. Trix2000 says:

    I don’t know what I just watched, but it was GLORIOUS.

  30. CapHec says:

    What is the camshaft and pistons doing in mid air? Camshafts need lubrication! Pistons need sleeves! It DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY.

    Also all that magic scythe stuff. That wasn’t valid either.

    1. MrGuy says:

      I demand cylinder heads! And realistic compression ratios!

      1. CapHector says:

        And what is with the fire jets? Is that flaming coolant?

    2. It’s a shame, and it’s not just this game either,. A lot of games simply has stuff added in the world for the sake of the gameplay. Which is way easier than creating the world and then making gameplay that fit naturally to the game world (which can be difficult and time consuming), I think Valve managed to create a good illusion of the latter though.

      1. Thomas says:

        After some roadbumps with Half Life 1 and the bottomless pit rooms with doors that can only be reached by jumping along a series of pipes :P

        It’s kind of sad that they haven’t made a game that needed to test those skills since Half Life 2: Episode 2 which was 7 years ago now. I’m curious how integrating puzzely gameplay into the environment would work nowadays.

        Maybe Limbo is a good example? But that was pretty easy since the world wasn’t supposed to make total sense.

  31. nstll says:

    “he reward for being so stupid” Heh.

    Anyway Marlow Briggs is rad and when it goes on sale for $1 you should grab it.

  32. MrGuy says:

    Also, for a minute there, I thought “If this crashes the game…” actually WAS Chris’s 5 word review of this game.

    Then I realized that was dumb – that’s a 5 word review of Fallout 3.

  33. Grudgeal says:

    So, how come when Chunk Blastcheese here gets impaled by the quad scythe he becomes a Sacred Warrior, while everyone else you impale with it just die? Do you have to leave it in overnight? And how did the ancient Mayans use the thing anyhow?

    “Hey, seen Bob around? We were about to go do the Sacred Warrior ritual with the quad scythe of Kukulkan.”

    “You mean that pokey thing? I think Bob took it with him when he went to raid the neighbouring tribe this morning.”

    “The fool! He’s doomed us all!”

    1. MrGuy says:

      Here be spoilers:
      You’ve actually stumbled on the key twist of the game – at the end of the first act, as you strike down Super Evil Dude, he laughs and says you’ve just assured his victory! Only the dead can reach the super maguffin in the sacred temple, and now that the sacred codexes have been translated, only he has knows the key to unlocking that power. His minions rise from the dead, much tougher now, as you fight your way to recover your girlfriend’s secret log pages that give you the translations of the codexes. I won’t spoil the climactic battle in Act 3, but it’s awesome.

      Or not. I may have never actually played the game, and am just remembering a boozy evening when The Mummy Returns and Highlander were on TV. Good times either way.

      1. WILL says:

        The actual ending is a lot funnier – it turns out that Dr Fu Man Doom turns into a giant aztec god thing for a boss fight in the Mountain of Time while gravity stops working for some reason. And then you defeat him, rescue your girlfriend and suddenly have to go back in time to before the entire game. The mask says you’ve erased the bad guy from existence so it’s fine. No explanation is given as to how or why you have this sudden time manipulation power.

        And then you accidentally go back TOO FAR into colonial times when the mask was still a living dude doing human sacrifices. The game closes on a shot of European boats arriving next to a human sacrifice scene.

        I eagerly await the sequel.

  34. Shirdal says:

    I think it’s very hard for videogames to be self-aware and tongue-in-cheek about the whole concept of violent power fantasies the way this game may or may not be trying to do. It reminds me a lot of the Far Cry 3 (which I haven’t personally played) defense where the lead writer claims the game was misunderstood.

    Games are making so many straight-faced attempts at violent power fantasy in its various flavours that it becomes really hard to tell the satire from the serious. How ridiculous must a satire be to over-ridicule the already ridiculous? Ridiculouception.

  35. evileeyore says:

    This is truly the Micheal Bay of video games!

    1. Joshua490 says:

      This is truly the Citizen Kane of Michael Bay video games!

      1. evileeyore says:

        Touché sir.

  36. Hitch says:

    I could barely hear him under the Spoiler Warning cast, but I thought I recognized the Big Good’s (Mr. Skullet’s) voice. I had to check the interweb to confirm it, but that was James Hong. Yay! Also Steve Blum is the voice of the mask, but that’s just another way of saying it’s a video game.

  37. Mr. Skullet looks a lot Joe Pesci’s character “Mr. Big” in Michael Jackson’s “Moonwalker.”

  38. Ivellius says:

    I know this discussion is continued in description for the next episode, but I want to come down on the side of “I’m not sure it’s self-aware” and say the game looks all the more entertaining for it. If it were more self-aware it’d be ruined–the developers would have felt compelled to let the audience know they’re in on the joke, while playing it straight makes a much stronger work (in a “so bad it’s good” way).

    Or if they ARE self-aware, they’re aware enough that pointing out the joke ruins it, which is basically missing these days.

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