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DM of the Rings XX:
Temple of BOOM

By Shamus
on Monday Oct 23, 2006
Filed under:
DM of the Rings


Tomb of Balin, Chamber of Marzubal, Loot, Gimli, Axe Dwarf, Hammer Dwarf, Laura Croft, BOOM

Ask any fighter: A hammer is just a really heavy set of lockpicks.

Comments (75)

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  1. Taran says:

    Hi, i just stumbled upon this by thanks of one of my friends, TOTALLY EPIC!!!!

    I just recently got into roleplaying, but i have always been a Tolkien and misc fantasy fan and i just have to say that this really strikes a place right in my hearth!!

    Keep up the good work,
    from the swedish newbie

    Break the dice! Let´s see it go……OVER 9,000!!!!

  2. Trae says:

    That would require 450 d20s.

  3. whitney says:

    our dm sent us this link, sweet Jesus I cried

  4. mistercoffee says:

    I’ve been reading your stolen pixels comics over at the escapist and hopped over here when i noticed the new links at the end of your comments there.

    I have to say, this REALLY depicts my gaming group. I just keep shaking my head and picking out who’s who among my own group with the comments being made by these players here.

    Looks like I’ll be rolling max on my 4 dice … 3 20’s and an 8, too bad I can’t roll that well when I’m at the table lol.

  5. Cal Sailor says:

    And I roll a Crit, Crit and 17! I must have killed some Big baddy! :-)

    Anyway, stumbled upon this site and have been reading it from the first! It’s funny and true in so many ways!

    I sure miss gaming. It’s been years. Keep up the good work wherever you’re applying yourself now and thanks!

  6. Cal Sailor says:

    Oops! That was strange! But I rolled a 69 instead! How awesome is that? I hope its a good omen ;-)

    “And I roll a Crit, Crit and 17! I must have killed some Big baddy! :-)” = Fail…

  7. Jake says:

    I gotta say, that in fantasy roleplays it’s a lot more fun in the way it makes you think of how you can use your tools and weapons in ways that you’d normally not use them. I mean here’s a random comparison…

    (Note, We’ve had both Sci-Fi and Fantasy go through this exact same problem. Our DM kinda lacks imagination when it comes to legendary item vaults.)

    (Other Note, everyone had to go to their own “Key” vault in this particular campaign.)

    DM: You walk into a great, empty cavern, echoing with the sounds of time and decay. In front of the party rest a massive door, easily thirty feet high. Behind the door rest the legendary “Key” which has the power to unlock a massive cache of powerful weapons. Nearby is a complex puzzle of pulleys, levers, and other objects. This mechanism seems to be connected to the door.

    (Sci-Fi Responses)

    Dreg: -gives the DM a bored stare-
    Dreg: I level my T-502 Plasma Cannon at the door and fire at it, blowing a molten hole in door.

    Kyle: I aim my H-64 Pulse Rifle at the “lock” and blow it to bits.

    Reaver: I use my android brain to examine the lock and figure it out. (Yeah. Ted’s kinda blunt like that.)

    Omega: I quickly scour the room for any kind of valuables. (DM: You find several scraps of steel, but nothing else.) Then use my laser blade to cut a hole in the door. (That’s me. I’m like these guys in the comic. Always looking for loot.)

    (Fantasy Response)

    Eric(Dreg): I use my ax as a tool to beat a hole through the door.

    Tristen(Omega): I examine and activate the lock. (I’m blunt sometimes too)

    DM: Your attempts to unlock the door result in several pendulum blades desending from the celing.

    Omega/Tristen(same answer): I jam a piece of metal into the “lock” and stop the trap.

    Not the best thing, but you can see that Sci-fi tends to have players using their weapons as their own personal door makers the Fantasy.

    (Also, adding to dice break!)

  8. Jeremy says:

    Errr… It’s actually “Lara Croft”, not “Laura Croft”.

  9. Will says:

    Yeah, Larry Craft! Give it a rest, already!

  10. Tanor Dracon Hearthfyre says:

    How can I possibly be the most recent comment on this wholly brilliant work lest the comments be shut down? I'm laughing,crying and tripping down lanes I haven't travelled with hilarious companions I haven't seen in decades save for fb birthday reminders. I miss my gaming crew . the valkyries and rogues the rehashed plots from Highlander, Dragonlance,Tolkien, Conan and more… I have 3 cases of Dragon magazines and a killer sketchbook and I have thoroughly enjoyed this having found you tonight and p,an perilously to binge it and hope it doesn't fall off a cliff before the tpk or the players nuke a volcano with an indestructible magical device and raise pints at the prancing pony…wondering where the halfling whores were hiding..thanks
    Ps great site design.

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