About the Author
Mass Effect
Final Fantasy X
Batman:Arkham City
Borderlands Series
Weekly Column
Champions Online
World of Warcraft
DM of the Rings
Good Robot
Project Frontier

DM of the Rings LVIII:
It is a Silly Place

By Shamus
on Wednesday Jan 31, 2007
Filed under:
DM of the Rings


Monty Python quotes in Edoras..

Jaquandor once said this about quoting Monty Python at a Renaissance Festival, although this applies just as well to playing D&D:

[…] So it’s with nothing but love and heartfelt concern that I inform you that walking around shouting quotes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail like “I’m bein’ repressed!” and “Ni!” is the Renaissance Festival equivalent of shouting “Freebird!” at a rock concert. Don’t do this, folks. Wandering through a Renaissance Festival with your friends, pretending to debate the airspeed of an unladen swallow, is just shooting fish in a barrel. Don’t do it.

Having said that, just try to get through this part of the movie without thinking about it. I swear the old woman in panel six is just about to say, “There’s some lovely filth over here.”

Right.  I can’t let you in while we, or anyone else, is armed.

This really is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Comments (107)

1 2

  1. Carl the Bold says:

    “I can’t let you in while we, or anyone else is armed.” ROFLOLMCOMN (…milk coming out my nose)

    I’m going to go and get a glass of water.

  2. JP says:

    I don’t know how you do it. Another masterpiece!

  3. Susano says:

    Not comments about how the Romans, they go in the house?

  4. Susano says:

    Crud… that should be “No comments.”

    Also, I just realized, it should be something about “The Rohan, they go in the house.”

  5. Rufus Polson says:

    (Defiantly): It says “Rohirrim go home!”

  6. T.W.Wombat says:

    “=How= many Rohirrim?”

  7. Badger says:

    People they are called Rohirrim go to the house?

    Surely John Cleese’s finest moment

  8. Carl the Bold says:

    But this is direction toward, isn’t it?

  9. Zudrak says:

    A moose bit me once…

  10. Zudrak says:

    No realli! I was Karving my initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given to me by Svenge

  11. Carl the Bold says:

    We apologize for the faults in the comments. Those responsible have been sacked. The comments have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.

  12. Andrew Cory says:

    When I was in Latin, I had a bad moment while watching Life of Brian. “You want the imperative, you fool!” I was actually correcting his grammar before Cleese…

  13. Steve says:

    Actually, not once during any of the LOTR movies did any MPFC dialog make itself felt inside Mr Brain. It must be an age thing (born before MP&THC). Either that, or repeated exposure to the Lego version of Holy Grail (it’s in the extra features) works the need out of you.

    When it’s done with Lego, its done for good.

    I’m kind of surprised though that Legoless didn’t try the “Ni!” ploy when they got surrounded by Rohirrim back in “The Name Game”.


  14. Breklor says:

    Oh, I’m such a sucker for the whole melodrama thing, I was too busy going “Ooh! Ahh!” to even *think* any such thing.

    That said, I am going to have a LotR marathon, and I think we’ll ban MP quotes *except* at Edoras.

  15. Meru says:

    Steve, no MP twinges at all? Not even during the Lurtz/Aragorn “It’s only a flesh wound” fight?

  16. Proteus says:

    WORMTONGUE: “Kill them!”
    LEGOLAS: “Aha… !”
    DM: “No, please… no!”

  17. Mattingly says:

    When Sam and Frodo climbed into Shelob’s cave, they should have known something was up. “Lookit the bones, man!”

  18. KarenB says:

    And soon they’ll be forced to eat their minstrils…
    And there shall be much rejoicing.

    (if they had any minstrils, that is)

  19. Hal says:

    Aw, you missed a good punchline.

    “Can I trust you guys not to quote Monty Python?”

    “Yes! GET ON WITH IT!”

  20. MikailBorg says:

    In fact, according to one of the Lord of the Rings fan club magazines, even Peter Jackson and company were desperately resisting the urge to make Holy Grail references during the filming at Edoras.

    It’s just too easy.

  21. Vicky W says:

    this was produced by word llamma press. a llamma bit my sister once….

  22. Klytus says:

    Mind you, llamma bite can be nasti.

  23. beckyzoole says:

    We apologise again for the fault in the comments. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.

  24. Right! Right! This is getting silly. Move along, move along, nothing to see, nothing to see.

    Director Shamus! Now… a close up on my comment… good, good. Closer… there. Now… write the next post! Aaaaaaaand… post it!

  25. rflrob says:

    I think the humor on xkcd would appeal to people who like DMotR too, so I figured it made sense to point out:

  26. Darkenna says:

    Me brain hurts.

    Seriously, tho, the only thing I could think of when they were encountering Shelob was, “Where’s Harry Potter when you need him?”

    And now it’s time for the penguin on top of your telly to explode.

  27. Robert says:

    Now, I would just like to point out that this thread is displaying a distinct tendency to become SILLY. Now, nobody likes a good laugh more than I do… except, perhaps my wife… and some of her friends. Oh, yes, and Captain Johnson. Come to think of it, most people like a good laugh more than I do, but that’s beside the point! I’m warning this thread NOT to get SILLY again! Right!

  28. LafinJack says:

    I swear the old woman in panel six is just about to say, “There's some lovely filth over here.”

    Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence! Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo!

  29. Sem says:

    “Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence! Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo!

    A quote from “The Princess Bride”, right ? It’s in a dream of the main character if I recall correctly. Good movie. Watched it 3 times as a kid.

  30. Ariel says:

    You KNEW this comic was going to spawn a crapload of stupid Python quotes, didn’t you?

  31. Carl the Bold says:

    “Stupid Python quotes”??

    No such thing.

    (No one ever quotes the stupid lines like, “But it’s my only line!”)

  32. ChristianTheDane says:

    Hehe, that was great. :)

    Keep it up.

  33. fair_n_hite_451 says:

    “Not much call for it ’round here.”

    “But, but it’s the single most popular cheese in the WORLD!”

  34. HcaneAndrew says:

    This post cannot be seen. It has followed the careful instructions of the video “How Not To Be Seen” and, fearing that it shall be blown to smithereens, has chosen to hide behind some non-shrublike natural feature.

    If you believe that you can see this post, you are sadly mistaken.

  35. Browncoat says:

    Unfortunately, it has chosen the obvious hiding place of between this post that the post two previous to this one.


  36. Steve says:

    [Meru] Nope. I guess I’ve just had long enough to work the “spontaneous Holy Grail quote” thing out of my system (I am nearly as old as Gandalf and saw the movie at University when it was on general release).

    Plus, I’d been waiting so long for LOTR to be competently visualised as a movie (or three) and was so gobsmacked that Jackson’s vision of the scenery was at once so different to mine yet so in accord with it that I never paused to ruin it with a “Rocky Horror” moment.

    I’ve only run the DVDs once though, so there’s plenty of time for a change of heart.

    Shamus’s version is, of course, a travesty and he should be roundly thrashed for making fun of what is sure to become a cultural icon. No thrashing is too good for him! We should make him into a ladder!


  37. Steve says:

    That should read: No COMMA thrashing is blah blah dribble drool. Another victory for Mr Brain.

  38. damien walder says:

    Right now, I am resisting the urge to quote Dennis, because I am 37. And have been mistaken for a woman from a distance. By someone not covered in s**t.

    Barely resisting.

    I’ll use the line ONCE before I turn 38, and have done with it. It’s part of my – –

    my –

    Idiom, my liege?

    But it occurs to me that the mutual pleasure principle applies to both D&D and MP’sTHGrail. I mean, there are more women playing D&D by now, but at first there were mostly men (some giving life to female NPCs) wandering about looking for a quest/something to hack with their sword/running away from the higher ECL beasty.

    That, and that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.

    Having endured the horrid snuff film of Mel Gobson’s Christ “story”, did any of you go back and watch the Life of Brian again? I still love that one for its darker than dark humour.

    Now, go and boil your bottoms!

  39. damien walder says:

    Um, left an unfinished note and posted by accident.

    I think I looked forward to being serious AND silly, like the Pythons or like the Goblins, which I knew about from TV version of the Hobbit, and watching PBS evening broadcasts of the Flying Circus all got mashed up in me brain. Later, I read all of Tolkien’s Middle Earth works, lots of SciFi (Hello, Gamma World and Cyberpunk!), so it’s never going to be easy to reference oddness in pop culture among nerdly folk. It’s part of our collective experience to do and say goofy things.

    Like read DM of the rings….Love it!

  40. freefall says:


    A larch


    A larch


    A larch


    A larch


    A larch


    A spoon sir


    We found a spoon sir.

  41. Sarah says:

    This is the funniest yet in a very funny series which I have been enjoying and turning my friends on to. Thank you so much for writing it!

    Steve Says:
    Shamus's version is, of course, a travesty and he should be roundly thrashed for making fun of what is sure to become a cultural icon. No thrashing is too good for him! We should make him into a ladder!

    Oh! Spanking?! Spank *me*! and then…
    (someone had to say it! you all know what comes next!)
    Still chuckling,

  42. EmeraldTiara says:

    These frogs with their terrible prattle, are fighting a battle with cattle, we’re all full of fear so let’s get out of here, run away run away run away.

    I’m kinda loking forward to the battle of Helm’s Deep. If the DM says no quoting, you can bet there’s gonna be quoting.

  43. Teria says:

    And now for something completely different.

    *worships Shamus* All hail the Bandit King!

    First one who gets THIS quote gets a cookie.

  44. Dave says:

    Now you see the Python inherent in the system… Come see the Python inherent in the system! Help .. Help the comments digress!

    Blessed be Sane Gus! Speak up! Oh.. it’s Shamus.. Blessed be Shamus..

  45. Darkenna says:

    A quote from “The Princess Bride”, right ? It's in a dream of the main character if I recall correctly. Good movie. Watched it 3 times as a kid.


    Only 3? That’s it?

    You poor, poor man. I am soooo sorry. : ( My deepest sympathies on your lack of a proper childhood!

    And Sarah… we can’t say it, it’s much too perilous.

  46. freefall says:

    I can just see it… at th battle of minus whatever (As the charecters might call it), They are day-dreaming and think that the catipulted chunks of granite are cows.

  47. freefall says:

    oops… marble

  48. Phil says:

    “Well, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some elven tart threw a sword at you!”

    Or maybe:

    Legolas: “This is an ex-Mumak!”
    Gimli: “It still only counts as one…”

    (What have you started?) :-)

  49. Mike says:

    Think back to the fight with the Orcs where Boromir dies defending the hobbits.

    Think back to him taking one dramatically-timed arrow after another from the lead Orc.

    Wait for the dramatic timing immediately after the first arrow.

    “Message for you, sir!”

  50. Jurrubin says:

    “And Sarah… we can't say it, it's much too perilous.”

    Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?

  51. SecretFire says:

    Is that from “The Gamers” by Dead Gentlemen Productions?

  52. Proteus says:

    SAURON: The Elves have bled us white! They’ve taken everything we had, and what have they ever given us in return?!
    ORC: Poetry?
    SAURON: What?
    ORC: I said, ‘poetry’.
    SAURON: Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that’s true. Yeah.
    SOUTHRON 3: And music.
    TROLL: Oh, yeah, lovely music, Sauron I sounds so much better than burping and farting!
    SAURON: Yeah. All right. I’ll grant you that poetry and music are two things that the Elves have done well with.
    URUK-HAI: And the roads!
    SAURON: Well, yeah. Obviously the roads. I mean, the roads go without saying, don’t they? But apart from the poetry, music, and the roads–
    SOUTHRON: Rope making?
    ORC: Medicine.
    SOUTHRON 2: Education.
    SAURON: Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.
    SOUTHRON 1: And the wine.
    SOUTHRONS: Oh, yes. Yeah…
    NAZGUL: Yeah. Yeah, that’s something we’d really miss if we killed all the Elves.
    SOUTHRON: They also invented bathing.
    TROLL: And it’s safe to walk in the streets in daylight now, Sauron.
    NAZGUL: Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let’s face it. They’re the only ones who could in a Middle-Earth like this!
    SOUTHRONS: Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.
    SAURON: But apart from the music, the medicine, education, wine, public order, rope making, roads, long-winded poetry, and doing away with our stench, what have the Elves ever done for us?!
    ORC: Brought peace?
    SAURON: Oh, peace– Shut up!

  53. Rustybadger says:

    Sem, you’ve only seen TPB three times? Dang. I’m afraid if you’re a Python fan, or a LoTR fan, you also have to be a PB fan. Sorry, that’s the Way It Is. Mandatory line-quoting and all. Anything else is simply inconceivable.

  54. Steve says:

    [Shamus] As a matter of interest, have you ever tried shooting fish in a barrel?

    Never mind that whole “refractive index throwing off the actual position of the target” nonsense, consider the following obastcles to spacially constrained piscine assassination.

    You have to hold the firearm up so high you will either drop it in the barrel after the recoil of the first shot almost breaks your wrist – assuming you use a pistol – or if you use a longarm you will end up with a broken jaw when the stock jumps out from under your arm, then you’ll drop the firearm in the barrel.

    Even if you get the shot off by some cunning ploy, such as standing on another upturned barrel, you will be soaked by the splashback and possibly maimed or killed when the round ricochets off the concrete under the barrel base. The barrel staves might even give way due to the hydraulic shock of a modern, high-velocity bullet smacking into the fifty or so gallons of rainwater in the barrel, which will cause the barrel to burst, knock you off whatever you are standing on, get you soaked and make your neighbours laugh at you.

    A clever person might suggest firing through the side-bung. This will only cause the cork to spall and result in yet another soaking and guaranteed ridiculing from the buggers next door.

    I think, on the face of it, you should rephrase that to “easier than nipping down the fish mongers and buying a fish wrapped in paper”.


  55. Darkenna says:

    Steve: This is exactly why the Tazer is made. : D The concept would be totally, completely, and in all others inconceivable.

    Jurrubin, it’s is much too perilous for you.

  56. Darkenna says:

    Jeez, my keyboard hates me. That should read, “Otherwise, the concept would be totally, completely, and in all other ways inconceivable.”

  57. Shamus says:


    You keep using that word…

    Oh never mind. I can’t… I can’t do this. I’m sorry.

  58. Adam says:

    Eh, I never liked the old Bandit king anyway.

  59. Kelson says:

    The only Python my wife and I quote during the LOTR films is in response to this sequence:

    “Helm’s Deep!”
    “Helm’s Deep!”
    “Helm’s Deep!”

    “It’s only a model.”

    I mean, when you’re handed a straight line like that…

  60. Darkenna says:

    It’s ok, Shamus. There is no shame in being unable to complete the Quoting.

    What the hell am I saying… SHAME ON YOU!!!

  61. Teria says:

    *hands SecretFire a cookie*

  62. damien walder says:

    Regarding the shooting of fish in a barrel:

    There’s no rule that the fish in the aforementioned barrel are immersed in _water_, which is noted for slowing and deflecting bullets/other projectiles. That they are in or out of water is left out of the saying. Our tendency to assume fish are in water is badly designed to negotiate their continued well-being in any type of barrel. I keep my fish in a pond, for the record.

    I always assumed that the muzzle blast would be enough to do the job in the event there is water as well as fish. That’s where a lot of wasted energy goes, anyway. The fish have no adaptive resistance to gunfire, in any case.

    I have often pondered if the saying came from loosing such a barrel from a trebuchet – “why, it’s like launching fish in a barrel!”

  63. Browncoat says:

    I have to wonder aloud how many of you self-proclaimed Princess Bride fans have read the book. I have no wish to enter into a quarrel, nor to question your man/womanhood, but if you haven’t read it, do yourself a favor, go buy it. If ever there was a book better than the movie, this is it, and it’s a pretty shiny movie to begin with! I watch it every time I’m sick. I’ve seen it so many times, I’m starting to watch it in Spanish. It adds a new depth of hilarity to hear, in the midst of a string of foreign language that I can’t possibly separate into words, the name “Humperdink” spoken with a heavy accent. Oh, but I was talking about the book. Go get it.

1 2

Leave a Reply

Comments are moderated and may not be posted immediately. Required fields are marked *


Thanks for joining the discussion. Be nice, don't post angry, and enjoy yourself. This is supposed to be fun.

You can enclose spoilers in <strike> tags like so:
<strike>Darth Vader is Luke's father!</strike>

You can make things italics like this:
Can you imagine having Darth Vader as your <i>father</i>?

You can make things bold like this:
I'm <b>very</b> glad Darth Vader isn't my father.

You can make links like this:
I'm reading about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darth_Vader">Darth Vader</a> on Wikipedia!

You can quote someone like this:
Darth Vader said <blockquote>Luke, I am your father.</blockquote>