Doom 3 Episode 1: Steven Blum is Everyone On Mars

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Jul 29, 2015

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 112 comments


Link (YouTube)

I can’t convey the sadness that I missed out on our Doom 3 session. I’ve wanted to talk about this game for ages. While I don’t hold up Doom 3 as a timeless classic or anything, I really do think this game did a lot of things right. I’d even go so far as to say the first couple of hours are really enjoyable. It doesn’t feel anything like what we expect DOOM to feel like, but viewed as its own thing it actually does a good job of setting a mood and letting you explore freely at the start. This is very preferable to the more modern approach of having lots of flow-breaking cutscenes and bossing you around with waypoint markers.

 


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112 thoughts on “Doom 3 Episode 1: Steven Blum is Everyone On Mars

  1. Isaac says:

    IT’S LIT

  2. The Rocketeer says:

    “TO WIN THE GAME, YOU MUST KILL ME: STEVEN J. BLUM.”

  3. Gruhunchously says:

    Whoops, looks like kids are out again with no supervision from Papa Shamus. Those rascals.

    1. We need to start calling these things “Latchkey warning”.

  4. Alexander The 1st says:

    “Steve Blum is: Steve Blum on Mars.”

    1. MrGuy says:

      No no no.

      Tom Braider is “Steve Blum on Mars”

  5. Chris says:

    I am so, so sorry for the cinematography in this episode.

    It gets better when I need to worry about shooting things instead of screwing around with mirrors and motion scanners and cheeseburgers.

    1. lethal_guitar says:

      It ends quite abruptly, is it supposed to end so early?

      1. Chris says:

        Yeah – Josh noticed this too when reviewing the episode. Without Shamus there to track our time we kinda just kept talking without any good point for cutting away, so it was either cut up the conversations that started once combat started or end with an episode that’s way shorter. But that’s definitely the ending point – we pick up with the good doctor’s demise in the next episode (which is a bit longer).

        1. Daemian Lucifer says:

          You dont even know how much you need that old grandfather clock until you try something without him.

          1. Volfram says:

            I dunno. I record an hour for my Pokemon Insurgence series every week(schedule permitting), and Karaias and I just kind of blather about randomly until I remember to check the recording timer and it happens to be 55-65 minutes. Then I chop it into segments of about 10-15 minutes(wherever a good break appears) and upload the result to YouTube. In 77 episodes, I think I’ve had awkward breaks 5 or 6 times.

            Granted, the two of us don’t have nearly as much to say as the 3-5 people on Spoiler Warning.

        2. Sleeping Dragon says:

          Dude! Spoiler warning!

    2. Dt3r says:

      No need to apologize, you were just giving us a chance to realize the deep significance of the cheeseburger.

  6. MrGuy says:

    In space, no one can hear Not Steve Blum.

  7. lethal_guitar says:

    Putting Doom 1 inside Doom 3: Well, someone has done that as a mod :)

    http://battleteam.net/tech/fis/

    Video of the thing in action:

    https://youtu.be/PxLNIvuHj00

  8. lethal_guitar says:

    It’s weird to me that the “in-game clickable surface” thing wasn’t adopted in more games (I mean other games except D3-engine games like Prey and Quake 4). It was among the most impressive features of the engine at that time..

    Does somebody know more games that do it? Hard Reset kinda had it, but nothing else really comes to my mind.

    1. Amstrad says:

      Dystopia managed it in the Source engine.
      Also UE4 has support for it built right in now.

    2. Alexander The 1st says:

      Possibly just ease of use? I mean, Flash Scaleform in UDK is pretty easy to get running.

      EDIT: Ah, thought you meant except for non-D3-engine games. In which point…didn’t Dead Space do this?

    3. Lanthanide says:

      I always saw it as a cheesy gimmick.

      I don’t think it adds any real functionality or value that can’t be handled by some other approach.

      1. Ilseroth says:

        I disagree, I think it has *the potential* to add a level of immersion to first person games. However you would not be wrong in saying that in general it is used in a gimmicky manner that really doesn’t add much.

      2. Felblood says:

        I first played this game immediately before playing half-life 2 for the first time, and this was the one feature I really missed.

        Any game that does the whole, “lower your weapon when you aim at a friendly person”, needs to make left click do something else instead.

        FPS games are like Macs. Your entire experience revolves around clicking on things. If clicking on someone does not murder them, it needs to do something else, or the player will resent the lack of the murder option.

        Edit: I would credit an understanding of this principle to the success of the Diablo franchise.

    4. AileTheAlien says:

      I only skimmed through the episode, so I might have missed something. Could you explain what this “in-game clickable surface” is?

  9. Thanatos Crows says:

    Regarding the movement of the characters: I instantly got a DreamWorks vibe from the way people are animated. Especially the computer guy pointing and the angry leaning forwards about 10mins in made me think of the first Shrek, which came out a couple of years before this. It’s this exaggeration for visual medium that can sometimes be seen on stage, especially on more improv based productions. Anyone else see it like that or am I just imagining things?

    1. hemebond says:

      One of the Doom 3 animators was Fredrik Nilsson http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0632206/

  10. Daemian Lucifer says:

    @9:00

    Thats the problem with this game.Its spooky and nasty before shit starts happening.But after it starts,it just becomes repetitive and not spooky and repetitive and not any bit nastier and repetitive and not spooky at all and repetitive.

  11. Tuskin says:

    Is this a season, or one of the inbetween series?

    1. lethal_guitar says:

      Given the lack of ending credits, Chris being the driver, and the way this post is worded (“our Doom 3 session”), I assume it’s just a one off thing. I’d love to see more of the game, but I can totally see why they wouldn’t do a whole season. It gets pretty tedious and repetetive towards the end, and I also don’t think there would be much to say after a while.

      Chris, say something about this jumpscare!

      Anyway, I’m very happy to see this, even if it’s just a few episodes :)

      1. Tuskin says:

        Makes sense.

      2. AileTheAlien says:

        Before they realized their mistake and hid the videos, there were clearly three Doom 3 videos for Spoiler Warning produced. So, I think we’ve got at least 2 more inbound. :D

  12. Daemian Lucifer says:

    Rutskarn,dont hold out on us,tell us your turkey puncher high score.

    1. Syal says:

      Turkey Puncher speed run!

  13. Tuskin says:

    Chris, it is funny how you say Doom 3 is old enough to be running in only 4:3

    Some games from the 90s that can run widescreen natively without hacks/config elements.

    The only one I can think of at the moment is Jedi Knight: Dark Forces 2.

    I know what you mean though, there are not a lot of games from back then that can run it.

    1. Annikai says:

      You can force Doom 3 into widescreen by messing with the console. But yeah it is really how some old games are cool with it and others aren’t. Though even weirder is that the sequel Jedi Outcast and it’s kind of sequel kind of stand alone expansion don’t support widescreen without messing with the ini file.

    2. Lachlan the Mad says:

      I literally just reinstalled JKII, and I had to go into the config files to get it widescreen. It wasn’t difficult, but it wasn’t native support either.

      1. Tuskin says:

        I said Dark Forces 2: Jedi Knight.

        Not Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast

        1. Lachlan the Mad says:

          It’s not my fault that the naming system of that series is so confusing.

  14. Flailmorpho says:

    you could say this game was doomed from the start

      1. If this series goes on for any length of time, I’d say the sense of impending doom is justified.

        1. MrGuy says:

          It’s a two party system! You have to vote for one of us!

  15. Florian the Mediocre says:

    Wait a second, they call their villain BetràÂĽger?

    Wow, that’s pretty blunt.

    I wonder what they call him in the german version – Traitor Mc Backstab?

    1. Felblood says:

      If you think this is bad, you should see him when he hasn’t taken his Chronic Backstabbing Disorder pills.

      I get that the UAC is running this expensive research base, specifically so they don’t have to deal with government oversight, and red tape like security clearances, but didn’t they run their *own* background check on this guy?

      He might as well be wearing a t-shirt that says, “Not Satan!”

      To be fair, I don’t remember enough of this game to tell you if the board is in on whatever his evil plot was, so it could be that.

    2. Felblood says:

      Now I’m trying to imagine the job interview where Doctor Traitor McBackstab lands a job leading an expensive and dangerous research project, based on another planet.

      Q: Do you have any references from past employers?

      A: I have here several letters of recommendation, however you cannot call the men who wrote them, because they have each died, in mysterious circumstances. –totally a coincidence there. Yes… heee hee hee.

      Q: What sort of experience do you have with– A: Mwahahahahah!

      Q: Er.. have you ever been required to –A: BWA-HAH-HAH-HAH

      Q: I like your enthusiasm! You’re hired!

      1. Sleeping Dragon says:

        I imagine it more like this:

        Q: Where do you see yourself in five years?
        A: Atop a pile of corpses with demon hordes serving me!

        Q: Ooookaaay… What would you say is your greatest weakness?
        A: The transparency of my evil plans… that or bullets… yes, make that lots of bullets.

        Q: Yes… I think we can conclude here… just one more to complete the form, what are your financial expectations?
        A: The screaming souls of every man, woman and child!
        Q: Right, just as I thou… wait, does that mean you can work for no money?
        A: The riches of your mortal realm are meaningless to one who will soon feast on innocent souls!
        Q: Hired!

        1. 4th Dimension says:

          Now that you mention it that does remind me of SMBC Theathre’s sketch:
          Greatest Strength.

          1. Felblood says:

            Thank you for sharing that. I needed it, this morning.

          2. Sleeping Dragon says:

            You made me realise that while I do keep up with the daily comics I never went through the whole youtube collection but only watched a select few videos. This one makes it clear I need to find the time for that.

  16. Tizzy says:

    It may be nostalgia speaking, but to me Doom3 was always one of the games that got cutscenes right: most are short and have a purpose. I’ll always prefer it to HL2’s shit-someone’s-talking-where-am-I-supposed-to-look.

    On the other hand, the pacing of the game is TERRIBLE. I remember lots of long lonely stretches with not much to do. The diversity of environments was very uneven as well. Too long even then; now, I’m not sure who would put up with it.

    1. Andy_Panthro says:

      I have to say I hate the way it pulls the camera in and out of the player-character’s head. I’m assuming it doesn’t do that much after this intro though, since most/all of the other characters will be dead.

      1. Lanthanide says:

        It uses cutscenes to introduce each new type of demon and the bosses, and also various environmental / ‘plot’ points. It does the ‘pull out of head’ thing each time.

  17. Andy_Panthro says:

    I’ve never played Doom 3, and I don’t think I’ve seen much video of it either, so this should be interesting!

    It really does look odd though, a strange contrast between high quality and low quality objects. The texture quality on the character models in particular stands out. It would be interesting to compare it to how Half-Life 2 was done, even though that came out later it’s probably the best comparison for that era.

    1. DeadlyDark says:

      Well, HL2 was like 3 months later? So comparison would be reasonable. Though, considering ’04 year, I regard, graphic-wise, Far Cry and Riddick game much higher than this two games.

    2. Tvtim says:

      I remember playing this game when it came out on Xbox many years ago. It was okay, but my god was it dark (lighting wise). You couldn’t use the flashlight at the same time as the guns (as he shows here), so I just cheated and used an infinite health cheat; thus I was able to beat EVERYTHING to death with nothing but the flashlight. Up to the final boss, I think I actually shot that guy. My friend and I found it to be rather hilarious.

      1. Bryan says:

        From what I remember, shooting the final guy doesn’t actually help at all. You have to shoot the random demons climbing up out of the pit, to charge up the … whatever the magical macguffin artifact was, then use it on the final boss guy a few times.

        I might have played this game several times. :-) (As well as its expansion.)

    3. Fizban says:

      Remember that HL2 has been updated a gagillion times, so if you want to do a true comparison you’ll need to crack out an old disk.

      1. lowlymarine says:

        Actually, even that won’t work. Half-Life 2 did come on CD (five of them, which I still have somewhere), but it required Steam even back in 2004. Which is why a lot of us weren’t able to actually get into the game until a couple of days later.

        At least the industry learned from those problems and no game ever had a launch day ruined by online activation ever again.

  18. Evilmrhenry says:

    Regarding the phrase “have your cake and eat it too”, try looking at it as “eat your cake and still have it”.

    1. What’s interesting is that once you understand it, you can’t help but notice about half the time it’s used incorrectly. If there isn’t an element of permanent consumption, it’s not an appropriate metaphor.

      1. Plus it’s longer than just saying “Mutually exclusive goals.”

    2. Josh says:

      But… what else would you do with a cake?

      1. Daemian Lucifer says:

        Ok,how about this:
        Eat your whole cake now,and still have it whole for later.

        1. MichaelGC says:

          We need terms Josh can better relate to.

          It’s like if you drop The Incinerator but still have it in your inventory.

          1. Daemian Lucifer says:

            Drink the whiskey,and have the bottle remain full too.

            1. Josh says:

              That seems irresponsible.

          2. Josh says:

            Why would anyone do this?

            1. Sleeping Dragon says:

              Because then you pick the first one up and have two for the price of one!

              I may or may not be helping…

        2. Josh says:

          That’s too much cake.

          1. Daemian Lucifer says:

            There is no such thing.Just ask the Marie Antoinette.

  19. Nixitur says:

    Somewhat-Fun Fact: “BetràÂĽger” is German for “deceiver”.

  20. Entropy says:

    By the way Josh, the expression “to have your cake and eat it too” is based on the idea you want to get the part you want out of something without taking the necessary trade-off. i.e. you want to eat the cake, but you also want to have the cake. If you eat the cake, you will not longer have the cake.

    Thus the desire to have your cake and eat it is the desire to enjoy a cake without actually losing the cake.

  21. What was the limit on how many monsters that could attack you at once? I seem to recall it was awfully low as compared to the original. I want to say 5, and that was supposedly due to all the graphical elements going on which were pretty hardware-melting at the time.

    Still, I felt not being able to have hordes attacking you (or each other) was a big let-down.

  22. el_b says:

    malcolm bertruger is almost a clone of my dad, same name, same bum leg and blind eye and theyre both bald. i had to show him because he didnt believe me.

    also i love playing with that security drone, theyre so cute. they love hide and seek :). i never let a single one die, its my third objective after killing all the humans.

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      Wait,so your last name is deceiver?Is your first name loki by any chance?

      1. el_b says:

        i meant malcolm lol. id love to have a metal last name like bertruger, wish youd given me that idea before i ordered my passport :P.

  23. SlothfulCobra says:

    Oh man, that thing at 12:14 where the game shows your cursor when you pan onto a monitor seems like such a great little idea.

  24. Jsor says:

    I honestly knew nothing about this game other than its lackluster reputation. I expected you guys to rip on it. It actually looks pretty decent. Not necessarily the sort of game I’d like, but not near as bad as I expected, and good for what it is.

    1. Lanthanide says:

      It quickly goes downhill.

    2. Daemian Lucifer says:

      Yeah,thats just about it:It looks great.Its basically the original far cry,all graphics and nothing else of worth.Just your average shooter.

  25. Mailbox says:

    Doom 3? I love Doom 3!

    Doom 3 and Half-Life 2 came out in 2004. It was a good year for PC FPS fans.

    One of the things I enjoyed from Doom 3 were the Audio Logs. Listening to a recording to gain insight on past events and expand the narrative was very engrossing. Doom 3 is the earliest example that I’ve played that did this. It’s also one of the reasons I enjoy the Bioshock series, because it did this as well.

    Side note when the scene came up I instantly remembered the line “The Devil is real. I know. I built his cage.” Classic.

    1. Tizzy says:

      Loved the audio logs as well, but I would have gladly traded fewer of them for more survivors.

      BTW, Ruts does not describe this part very accurately. There *are* a few survivors to be found. They’re not *all* dead…

      1. Dt3r says:

        That’s because Chris hasn’t gotten to them yet.

      2. Ranneko says:

        Not dead yet. The Marine is explicitly the only survivor at the end.

        That said, even in Half-Life 2 most of the random people you encounter will die even if they survive their initial encounter with you. It saves on entities being loaded.

  26. Jokerman says:

    So this game is about a mass murderer who just so happens to walk into a sci-fi horror plot and saves the day. Pretty cool plot.

    1. el_b says:

      even more so in resurrection of evil. doomguy has a strong will which saves him at the beginning, the engineer is a fucking asshole. the artifact he gets at the beginning kills his team when he wakes it up and gives him the power to steal souls to fuel it…and he loves it.

  27. MrGuy says:

    2004 was 11 years ago. I was a teenager.

    Nice try, Rutskarn, but I’m pretty sure being 6 doesn’t count as being “a teenager.”

    1. Sougo says:

      That would imply that Rutskarn is currently 17 years old. We both know that’s impossible.

      1. Supahewok says:

        Because we all know he ages in reverse-dog years.

  28. DeadlyDark says:

    TBH, I dislike Doom 3, and dropped the game in the Alpha labs (I think?). It’s monotone, it didn’t work at all as horror (first Thief spoiled me), quadratish cups and foreheads looked very off (2 years earlier NOLF2 looked much much better than this), shooting was disappointing (guns just felt nothing like guns at all, they even sounded like toys). And D3 didn’t do anything outstanding, graphic-wise Far Cry (that was in the beginning ’04) was much much better, and gunplay there was much more fun (and with more diverse maps too!). Horror*-/Story-/Gameplay-/Perfomance**-wise Chronicles of the Riddick that came out in the end of the year was much-much better. HL2 did mind blowing (for me) things with physics, and face animation, and with sleek gamedesign too. New shadow technology was shown earlier this year with somewhat flawed, but great overall Thief 3. And I love my thieves. So yeah, I just don’t understand why D3 is praised/loved that much, because even by standards of ’04 year, it wasn’t that special or well crafted. Other actions of that year*** I really like and remember with some nostalgia and from time to time will try to replay.

    * In some moments. Even this little segments worked better than entire beginning levels of the D3.
    **While looking even better than D3.
    ***Granted, I still didn’t play Tribes Vengeance. I heard it was fun shooter with good story, so may be some day (

  29. Dt3r says:

    I’m sure that Rutskarn wasn’t alone in being unsettled by that robot. It has that arthropod style scuttling movement, despite having 4 legs. We don’t naturally encounter something that moves in this way, so it seems kind of… off.

    1. Felblood says:

      Plus, it’s entire silhouette is an Aliens ref, in a game that is using many (more subtle) aliens references to build a sense of danger and dread.

      –and there’s the creepy way it looks over it’s shoulder at you.

      –and! There is the creepy, creepy way the shadows play off of it’s pointy little legs. It’s a safe bet that you hadn’t seen that before when this game came out.

      1. Sleeping Dragon says:

        I’m sorry but OMG IT’S SO CUTE! On a more serious note I do think it’s one of those creepy-cute things and the creepy is probably much stronger when you’re actually experiencing the game the way it’s intended, playing it without a company of several other people, ideally in the evening with headphones and possibly lights turned off.

  30. bloodsquirrel says:

    As someone who had no real attachment to Doom 1-2 and no pre-set biases about the game needing to be a real Doom game I really, really enjoyed the game.

    In fact, I actually can’t think of a shooter where the playspace felt more real than it did in Doom 3. There’s a lot of attention to detail, and the environment is mostly free from game-y conventions. There’s also a lot of low-level interactivity to make the environment feel less static. The use of damage to the facility in order to turn a reasonably-designed facility into a functionally linear game level helps out a lot.

    Doom 4 looks nice and all, but I’d actually rather another game more along the lines of Doom 3.

  31. Hermocrates says:

    In the vein of having themed breaks (much like your recent zombie themed break), what would you think about playing a week of id Software’s latest disappointingly-received engine showcase next: RAGE?

    Full disclosure: I actually like RAGE, although when it comes to id Tech engine showcases I’m honestly just concerned about their gamefeel more than anything else.

    1. lethal_guitar says:

      Oh yeah, I’d be up for that as well! :)

  32. James says:

    Around the same time running on the Ps2 the PS2! we got Metal Gear 3. a game that even today looks good, runs well and plays great.

  33. Daemian Lucifer says:

    Wait,this is the original version,right?So Chris,why arent you playing the bfg edition?I seem to remember you saying that you have that one.

    1. Chris says:

      The short, true answer: When we went to do this session we had no idea what to do. Josh was gonna be travelling so he couldn’t edit whatever we recorded, so it was up to me to drive if we were gonna do anything. I scrolled down the list of Steam games I had installed and Doom 3 managed to hit the sweet spot of “Game that would probably work for Spoiler Warning” and “Game we had all played a bit of (or in Josh’s case, at least heard of).” So Doom 3 (non-BGF edition) it was.

      The longer, equally true but not the reason we didn’t play it answer: I really don’t like the BFG edition. It feels like a big, reactionary retraction of the few things that made the game work.

      I hate the lighting changes; everything’s brighter and easier to see. That makes for a better Spoiler Warning stream, I guess, but the original game had a lot of wonderful blackness that is replaced with an unending sea of gunmetal in the BFG edition. And I’m not a big fan of screwing with the original game’s aesthetic choices just to justify getting people to double dip on a new version (see also: HD Tomb Raider rereleases changing Lara Croft’s model, Deus Ex Human Revolution Director’s Cut changing the yellow filter).

      Then there’s the flashlight thing (we get into this in a bit). I get that id got mocked for not allowing a gun or a flashlight to be up at once, but the result of that constraint (technical or not, intentional or not) was a choice between helpless investigation or shooting without knowing exactly where your target was at. It kept things as spooky as the dumb AI/action setpiece gameplay would allow. But with the ability to just toggle the flashlight, the whole thing becomes even less interesting (and in DOOM 3’s later levels, that’s saying something). Plus, they removed the flashlight from the game! The flashlight was a way better melee weapon than punching! They got rid of one of the best early-game weapons and the driver of the game’s core tension, and for what!?

      Plus, if you go over the list of changes, there’s this:

      Cutscenes are now unskippable.

      Yeah, eff that.

      1. Daemian Lucifer says:

        Seriously,they added unskippable cutscenes?Thats the dumbest thing Ive heard in a while.

      2. Benjamin Hilton says:

        I never liked the need to switch to the flashlight because to me it actually made it less frightening.

        Follow me on this: I’m walking along a dark corridor, with this small cone of light, afraid every time I check a corner that a monster will attack from the opposite one. I creep through a tight claustrophobic hallway swing the light up and “ohfuckohfuckohfuck” then……spend a few seconds fiddling with controls to pull out the right gun while taking cheap shots that should be preventable had the Marine had any sort of tactical training (There are multiple methods of holding a flashlight at the same time as a rifle or shotgun even without tape.)

        For me the scary parts all took place before the fight. The cone of light isn’t that large so there is a lot of darkness even with it on. All the stress came in the lead up to combat. Once the fight started having to fiddle with buttons just took me out of the experience.

      3. Hermocrates says:

        HD Tomb Raider rereleases changing Lara Croft's model, Deus Ex Human Revolution Director's Cut changing the yellow filter

        Seeing as I just picked both of those up for the PS3, the first since I don’t have a PS2 and the second for its integrated DLC content, I’m pretty… ticked off about that now that I’m aware.

        Then again, my dream “HD remake” of any game is literally just proper emulation for modern systems combined with some fine-tuned upscaling filters for modern screen sizes.

  34. Daemian Lucifer says:

    The reason doom 3 is regarded as such a failure was not because it wasnt anything like doom 1 and 2,but rather the fact that it came out at the peak shooter time.If it came out today,it would feel refreshing and innovative,but it had to come out at the same time as half life 2,which had better gameplay,and far cry 1,which had better graphics,so it had practically nothing to offer that other games didnt do better.

    1. Sleeping Dragon says:

      It could be because I’m not really much into shooters but the only reason I’m even aware of the game’s existence is the Doom title. My gut instinct tells me that it would fade into complete obscurity otherwise, especially if it came along those two titles and if it was indeed peak shooter period. What the hell was I even playing 11 years ago…

  35. Vect says:

    I find it funny that you guys started this on the same day the Super Best Friends released a Brutal Doom video.

    Sorry if you consider that an insult.

  36. Zaxares says:

    Dammit, you guys didn’t play Super Turbo Turkey Puncher 3 long enough to get the e-mail that yells at you for wasting time playing games while you’re supposed to be at work! XD

    Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but Mars still has an atmosphere, doesn’t it? It’s too thin to support human life without oxygen tanks, but I think if you have a sealed respiratory mask you can actually walk out on Mars with exposed skin and not die. (Probably not recommended due to all the grit flying around though.)

    1. Grudgeal says:

      Because of the thin atmosphere and no oceans, Mars’ surface temperature can, in fact, be said to be “cold as hell”. Planet average is about -60 degrees, which can get as high as +20 in the sun at high noon during an equatorial summer and as low as -150 during a polar winter night.

      I’d recommend earmuffs.

  37. Grudgeal says:

    So am I the only one who noticed the ship that carried you there was called “Dark Star”?

    I’d like to think the reason the corporate bloke and the protagonist look so grumpy is because they’ve had to listen to “Benson, Arizona” all the way.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2F0dHVZAm8

    1. el_b says:

      i cant believe i never noticed that in nearly 12 years…i just thought it was a metal as hell name lol.

  38. Nick Powell says:

    Aw yiss. I really love this game.

    I disagree that it’s meant to be serious though… In comparison to 1 & 2, yes, but there’s loads of stupid stuff in it. Super Turbo Turkey Puncher for one, and that one place where the demons send out a corporate-style email with guidelines for ritual sacrifice, and the fact that the big evil stone tablet they unearthed that showed the invasion from hell was literally just the cover art from Doom 1 engraved on a slab of rock.

    1. el_b says:

      i liked martian buddy, the loot crate of the future, and they send you chainguns!

  39. Christopher says:

    I was always under the impression the marines were basically gendarmes on the mars facility, as well as anti-corporate espionage security.

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<strike>Darth Vader is Luke's father!</strike>

You can make things italics like this:
Can you imagine having Darth Vader as your <i>father</i>?

You can make things bold like this:
I'm <b>very</b> glad Darth Vader isn't my father.

You can make links like this:
I'm reading about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darth_Vader">Darth Vader</a> on Wikipedia!

You can quote someone like this:
Darth Vader said <blockquote>Luke, I am your father.</blockquote>

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