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Sexy Beach

By Shamus
on Monday Nov 6, 2006
Filed under:


While looking through the various videogame movies on YouTube, I found this bit of madness from Japan: Sexy Beach.

I can’t read the menus, but I’m going to guess this is something like Animal Crossing meets Colorful. Only the Japanese could imagine such a union. I imagine the fellow playing this game looks just like this guy. (Scroll about halfway down the page, and behold the lair of the panty otaku!)

Again, I’m just extrapolating, but I’m willing to bet that this game has you engage in some of low-risk but dull activity to earn some sort of currency, which can then be used to unlock new girls to oogle, new outfits for them to wear, and new locations in which to ogle them.

Like all of the best stuff from Japan, it is both humorous and frightening.

Comments (9)

  1. HC says:

    I think the game goes a fair bit beyond ogling, suggestive posing, and double-entendres. Top result on Google: http://www.g4tv.com/xplay/features/43613/Games_That_Make_You_Feel_Funny_Sexy_Beach_2_PC.html

    That was for the previous one in the series, but I’d be surprised if they toned this one down.

    Japan really is a different place. Google Boong-Ga Boong-Ga for what may be the most surreal arcade game ever created.

  2. Shamus says:

    I saw Seanbaby’s take on Boon-Ga Boon-Ga, and you are right: That is like ten different flavors of crazy.

  3. Andrew F. says:

    I can’t believe I watched that all the way through…

    Reminded me of Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball at first, but this looks a lot more perverted.

    Here are some of Manami (the girl)’s choicer lines translated.

    When choosing where to go:
    Oniichan ga ikitai toko dattara, doko demo ii yo!
    If it’s where you want to go, anywhere is fine with me!

    At the beach:
    Asobanai no ka na?
    Won’t you play with me?

    Futari dake no biichi da ne.
    We’ve got the beach to ourselves.

    Oh, and the menu where you choose her bathing suit is called “dress-up”.

    She’s like a freakin’ zombie, except without the rotting flesh and hunger for brains.

  4. MegaZone says:

    I think the best part is that this is Sexy Beach *3*. It is popular enough to be an established franchise!

    Also, I thought I might be the only person to have watched Colorful. :-) Well, other than some friends I subjected to it.

  5. Rick the Wonder algae says:

    They should TOTALY port that to the DS. I mean, what was touch-screen technology MADE for?

  6. Hippocrass says:

    While the intent of the game is obvious, I think I’d get more annoyed than aroused. I mean, is that really what Japanese “women” sound like?

  7. sleepyfoo says:

    It is a hentai “dating sim” like game(dating used loosely). Japanese women definately don’t sound like that, but that is what they are portrayed as in japanese porn, as that seems to appeal to the fantazies of the japanese men.

  8. Felblood says:

    Those interested in learning more about Japaneese Dating sims should be refered to something awful.com, where they have reviews of a lot of the english translations.

    Anyone still interested after reading that should be shot.

  9. sleepyfoo says:

    That would result in a large portion of the Japanese populace being shot.

    I can say from experience that it is very difficult to avoid noticing those games on the shelves of every video game store in Japan.

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